Happy Mother’s day to all the beautiful, adorable moms out there!! We love you so much! We just don’t say it often.
Dearest mom,
When I was a little girl the one thing that enamoured me were these pair of white stilettos that you owned. Every time you were out, I would secretly wear them and pretend to walk the catwalk.
I would pretend to be an adult and make conversation with myself in front of the mirror.
Throughout my childhood I thought that I could quite literally fit into your shoes and be you.
I grew up and realised that it’s a tough job being you. Could I ever be that giving, loving and forgiving? Could I ever match up to your sensitivities and talents?
You pushed me to be my own person but all I wanted to be was a reflection of you.
An unfortunate accident happened and I realised that you were nothing but human. You were my super mom who did hurt and who did have problems. Problems we always choose to overlook. (Moms don’t have problems now, do they?)
In that one month we switched roles. It was reinventing our relationship. You were vulnerable and for the first time in my life I had to be strong for you. I had to be a shoulder to lean on.
Suddenly without a call or notice, I had stepped into your shoes.
I learnt more about life in that one month than I have probably learnt in the past ten years.
Through your time of trouble you didn’t forget to teach me one of life’s greatest lessons.
You taught me that love has no boundaries, love needs patience and love always prevails.
When I took over as your mom, I could only wonder where all that patience came from? Where did you dig all that compassion, all that love?
Thank you mom for being you.
For teaching us the simple yet important things of life,
For never stopping us from trying, doing or experimenting anything we wanted.
Thank you mom for late night and early morning conversations.
For letting me sob for no rhyme or reason, just because I wanted to.
Thank you for being the best friend I could ever have.
I love you mom.
Happy mother’s day.
Always,
ME
P.S People its mothers day on the 10th of this month, don't forget to tell her you love her!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
love letters # 3 - Thers no such place as far away.
Yesterday, while we watched the sunset and hoards of birds cloud the sky.
I fell in love.
Just like that.
We were both so quiet, lost in our own thoughts. I wondered who you were thinking about...
An ex-love maybe. I was so afraid to ask.
Our fingers were entwined and our eyes were busy making shapes out of clouds muffled in the reds and oranges of the evening sky.
At times I heard our hearts beat in unison like it was meant to be.
Did I skip a beat somewhere? Did you notice?
We sat there for hours while the moon rose and illuminated a milky sky.
Quiet and serene.
It was late and you had to leave. Perhaps forever.
“In the end, we all come back home” you said.
“Soon” I replied.
And just like that you were gone to a place far far away.
Always,
Me
P.S: Did I forget to mention, I love you.
I fell in love.
Just like that.
We were both so quiet, lost in our own thoughts. I wondered who you were thinking about...
An ex-love maybe. I was so afraid to ask.
Our fingers were entwined and our eyes were busy making shapes out of clouds muffled in the reds and oranges of the evening sky.
At times I heard our hearts beat in unison like it was meant to be.
Did I skip a beat somewhere? Did you notice?
We sat there for hours while the moon rose and illuminated a milky sky.
Quiet and serene.
It was late and you had to leave. Perhaps forever.
“In the end, we all come back home” you said.
“Soon” I replied.
And just like that you were gone to a place far far away.
Always,
Me
P.S: Did I forget to mention, I love you.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Love letters # 2
Let’s take a small walk today,
In the backyard we don’t visit anymore.
Let’s not be lonely, let’s not be strangers.
Let’s wake up on the same side of the bed today.
Encircled and entangled.
Let’s sip our coffee and exchange fleeting, forgotten glances.
Today, just let our eyes talk.
Always,
Me
In the backyard we don’t visit anymore.
Let’s not be lonely, let’s not be strangers.
Let’s wake up on the same side of the bed today.
Encircled and entangled.
Let’s sip our coffee and exchange fleeting, forgotten glances.
Today, just let our eyes talk.
Always,
Me
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Love letters # 1 - Release
You wouldn’t hear him today even if he spoke right into your ears, the randomness of his thoughts.
The subjectivity of reasoning to your own convenience wraps your soul in layers uncountable.
You wouldn’t feel it today if his toes touched yours, the uncertainty of his touch.
The wall you built to protect yourself shields you from a passion lying dormant.
You are blinded by tears you cried at your own failures,
The ones you use as a measure for what lies in the Pandora’s Box.
I’ve been inside and it’s full of hopes, fears, risks and irrationality.
It’s the Mecca of senselessness and absurdity.
Raw, unrefined and crude,
Full of surprises, heartbreaks & passion,
Unconventionally beautiful.
What stops you to unlock and peep?
To soak in and savour...
The saneness in irrationality,
The logic in everything you considered illogical,
The safety in the risks you wouldn’t take.
You wouldn’t smell the lilies today, the ones he kept at your window sill,
Your senses blocked by your mind, a machine programmed not to act on impulse.
He silently walks away, leaving the key behind
Someday, maybe someday
You will unlock the Pandora’s Box.
With a different key, a different lock, a different 'him'.
The subjectivity of reasoning to your own convenience wraps your soul in layers uncountable.
You wouldn’t feel it today if his toes touched yours, the uncertainty of his touch.
The wall you built to protect yourself shields you from a passion lying dormant.
You are blinded by tears you cried at your own failures,
The ones you use as a measure for what lies in the Pandora’s Box.
I’ve been inside and it’s full of hopes, fears, risks and irrationality.
It’s the Mecca of senselessness and absurdity.
Raw, unrefined and crude,
Full of surprises, heartbreaks & passion,
Unconventionally beautiful.
What stops you to unlock and peep?
To soak in and savour...
The saneness in irrationality,
The logic in everything you considered illogical,
The safety in the risks you wouldn’t take.
You wouldn’t smell the lilies today, the ones he kept at your window sill,
Your senses blocked by your mind, a machine programmed not to act on impulse.
He silently walks away, leaving the key behind
Someday, maybe someday
You will unlock the Pandora’s Box.
With a different key, a different lock, a different 'him'.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The measure of love - Paulo C from the warrior of light
“I have always wanted to know if I was able to love like you do,” said the disciple of a Hindu master.
“There is nothing beyond love,” answered the master. “It’s love that keeps the world going round and the stars hanging in the sky.”
“I know all that. But how can I know if my love is great enough?”
“Try to find out if you abandon yourself to love or if you flee from your emotions. But don’t ask questions like that because love is neither great nor small. You can’t measure a feeling like you measure a road: if you act like that you will see only your reflection, like the moon in a lake, but you won’t be following your path.”
- The warrior of light newsletter
“There is nothing beyond love,” answered the master. “It’s love that keeps the world going round and the stars hanging in the sky.”
“I know all that. But how can I know if my love is great enough?”
“Try to find out if you abandon yourself to love or if you flee from your emotions. But don’t ask questions like that because love is neither great nor small. You can’t measure a feeling like you measure a road: if you act like that you will see only your reflection, like the moon in a lake, but you won’t be following your path.”
- The warrior of light newsletter
Friday, May 1, 2009
Time confuses me.....
Do you know that feeling when you feel that light years have passed and you see everything zip past you, then you look down and see that you haven't moved and inch?
When everything you need and want is at an arms distance but you just cant stretch enough.
The feeling you get when you read a milestone that says 10 km but it takes an hour to cover that distance?
Do you know anticipation, curiosity, eagerness?
I am waiting patiently, trying to enjoy the ride to my 10 km destination, I can see the lights twinkle on the horizon, I know I'll be there soon.
I just don't know how long it will be before the patience breaks, before I start running towards the lights, just to touch them. Just this one time.
When everything you need and want is at an arms distance but you just cant stretch enough.
The feeling you get when you read a milestone that says 10 km but it takes an hour to cover that distance?
Do you know anticipation, curiosity, eagerness?
I am waiting patiently, trying to enjoy the ride to my 10 km destination, I can see the lights twinkle on the horizon, I know I'll be there soon.
I just don't know how long it will be before the patience breaks, before I start running towards the lights, just to touch them. Just this one time.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tuesday afternoon musings
I have been listening to ghazals all day today and there is one that I absolutely love.
Here are a couple of lines from it..
वो नए गिले वो शिकायते. वो मज़े मज़े की हिकायते
वो हर एक बात पे रूठना
तुम्हे याद हो, के न याद हो
वो जो हम में तुम में करार था
तुम्हे याद हो न याद हो.
You can listen to it here (this is not the version I have, but is nice too)
Here are a couple of lines from it..
वो नए गिले वो शिकायते. वो मज़े मज़े की हिकायते
वो हर एक बात पे रूठना
तुम्हे याद हो, के न याद हो
वो जो हम में तुम में करार था
तुम्हे याद हो न याद हो.
You can listen to it here (this is not the version I have, but is nice too)
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Big memories, one small suitcase . Dubai musings - part 3
How do you package happiness into small cubes and fit them into a jar? Perhaps like a can of sardines.
How do you save love in the corners of your mind, to use later when it refuses to listen to the heart?
How do you dwell permanently within the innocence you return to after a long period of hopeless remorse?
I have been battling with these questions since a long time. The idea of a holiday was to sort my mind, find answers, and take a break from a life that was squeezing all my energies and reasons to believe in everything.
I didn’t do anything I planned to do - I didn’t read, I didn’t catch up with music or movies, I didn’t write as much as I would have wanted to, I didn’t meet half of the people I planned too, I didn’t even make it to the dessert safari.
But - I ate, I built a tower of overpowering happiness, I got pampered, I made new friends, I ate ice cream for breakfast, Sushi for lunch, I got thrown into mid air a hundred and fifty feet above the ground, I connected with the most integral part of my life - my family, my brother.
Unaware, I found answers. I didn't need to read or write. I just experienced.
I take a lot back with me.... And I leave an equal number behind.
1)I leave behind guilt. Guilt that had slowly crept inside, guilt that had steadily eaten my peace of mind.
Guilt about eating too much, guilt about loving too much, guilt about making people unhappy, sometimes making them too happy, guilt about not doing what I should be doing.
I leave guilt to rest in peace.
I cleanse and purify my soul and take it back with me.
I take back the belief that it’s ok to be a glutton sometimes, if it makes me happy. It’s ok to have enough love to share and give, it’s ok to not like someone and not pretend to do so. It’s ok to stop doing something you don’t like. It’s ok to take the risk to do something you actually like.
2)I leave behind hatred. I leave behind vengeance.
I have felt hate and I have been vengeful. But when you see a child innocently smiling at you, just because you smiled at them you realize that love is all there is.
Love is all there can be, and love is all there always will be.
3)I leave behind a person who is scared, who is unwilling to realize her own dreams.
I take with me a person who is as fearless as scared.
4)I leave behind selfishness
I take with me bonds and ties stronger than ever. I take with me feelings that I never felt. Feeling of Love and hope that you feel with the people you are connected with through existence.
5) I leave behind confusion
I take with me simple answers to complicated questions -
• How do you package happiness into small cubes and fit them into a jar? Perhaps like a can of sardines?
You live, enjoy, cherish each moment. You close your eyes and take a snapshot of every moment.
• How do you save love in the corners of your mind, to use later when it refuses to listen to the head?
You accept that love never fades, it changes form and when needed it takes the form you want. You understand that loved ones never go anywhere, they just get busy.
You love from the bottom of your heart, unconditionally everyone and everything you meet and see.
• How do you dwell permanently within the innocence you return to after a long period of hopeless remorse?
You let yourself be. You don’t force your soul to become something it is not. You understand that you are innocent and unique and always will be. No one can take away your soul from you; nothing can take away your purity.
I remember a day before I applied for the visa, I didn’t want to make this trip. I didn’t want to spend money. And my wise mother told me, “go and be reckless”.
Why are mothers always right? Why do they know everything before it even happens? It baffles me how they can know what you need most and when you need it most, maybe it’s a chocolate cake or soul soothing khichdi or just a hug.
I am glad I listen to my mother (sometimes) I am so glad I made this trip.
I can’t thank Anubhav enough for pampering me (something I always wanted him to do) and giving me my best holiday ever.
I’m packing and stuffing my small suitcase with a million memories, friends and experiences.
Somehow, it looks like a carton of sardines!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Dubai Musings – part 2
It has been seven days? Feels like forever. I have been soaking in each moment to the maximum that I can squeeze out of it.
The day seems longer, even though it begins at midday.
By now I have almost seen most of Dubai, I can claim I have done all the touristy things! Most of them have been done with a twist, like a cruise down the Dubai creek with the whole arba to ourselves. (Now there is a lot money can do anywhere in the world).
I believe it is best to behave like the locals when you are travelling. So I haven’t taken many pictures.
I feel I have always been here.
Have I mentioned Irish Village earlier? It now ranks number one on my favourite places list.
Amazing food, live music, open air and lots of beer. Anyone visiting Dubai must go there. It’s warm, homely and you will end up finding your kind there.
Oh ya, I did shop. I stuck to a budget and within that I bought 3 things. Moral of the story is that only when I’m ultra rich (or have not spent 40k on a new laptop the same month) is when I will come and shop in Dubai.
Its way to expensive when half the things are available at cotton on in Bombay!
So, I went into all the good stores, tried on the best clothes, admired myself in the fitting room mirror, felt happy and got out.
I am still obsessed with fruit yogurt and cherry is now my current hot favourite! I have to have one every morning.
I am not worrying about the calories, I cant. Food involves either steaks, icecreams or burgers.
Its just not my fault!!!
I have been living on Belgian chocolate at home and everyday having a huge Sunday at the Marble Slab Creamery or the Cold Slab Creamery.
Your mouth cant help but water when they beat the icecream on the marble slabs and mix it with all the things you can think of – m&m’s, choco chips, mars bars, nuts, fruits.
It is heaven on earth.
I have three days to live before its back to the grind. (more on that later)
An Ikea visit, perfume shopping and the Safari is pending.....
More of which will be in part 3 of Dubai Musings......
The day seems longer, even though it begins at midday.
By now I have almost seen most of Dubai, I can claim I have done all the touristy things! Most of them have been done with a twist, like a cruise down the Dubai creek with the whole arba to ourselves. (Now there is a lot money can do anywhere in the world).
I believe it is best to behave like the locals when you are travelling. So I haven’t taken many pictures.
I feel I have always been here.
Have I mentioned Irish Village earlier? It now ranks number one on my favourite places list.
Amazing food, live music, open air and lots of beer. Anyone visiting Dubai must go there. It’s warm, homely and you will end up finding your kind there.
Oh ya, I did shop. I stuck to a budget and within that I bought 3 things. Moral of the story is that only when I’m ultra rich (or have not spent 40k on a new laptop the same month) is when I will come and shop in Dubai.
Its way to expensive when half the things are available at cotton on in Bombay!
So, I went into all the good stores, tried on the best clothes, admired myself in the fitting room mirror, felt happy and got out.
I am still obsessed with fruit yogurt and cherry is now my current hot favourite! I have to have one every morning.
I am not worrying about the calories, I cant. Food involves either steaks, icecreams or burgers.
Its just not my fault!!!
I have been living on Belgian chocolate at home and everyday having a huge Sunday at the Marble Slab Creamery or the Cold Slab Creamery.
Your mouth cant help but water when they beat the icecream on the marble slabs and mix it with all the things you can think of – m&m’s, choco chips, mars bars, nuts, fruits.
It is heaven on earth.
I have three days to live before its back to the grind. (more on that later)
An Ikea visit, perfume shopping and the Safari is pending.....
More of which will be in part 3 of Dubai Musings......
one step at a time
Left
Right
Left
One step at a time
Look here and there
Soak
Let it seep
Be a sponge
Full and heavy
Capture
In your senses
Music
Beauty
Taste
Make memories
To look back
To savour
Just one step at a time.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Dubai Musings - Part 1
They say - when you are in love then everything seems perfect. I say, when you are happy then everyday and everything seems perfect forever.
You are happy when you are in love with yourself.
I had written about how I am going to start living and took a pledge to do that.
I have to admit, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
To start with, I did two things this month that I always wanted to do but never got down to doing them.
I bought my new laptop and I am traveling abroad. Finally!
I am having the best and probably the most memorable holiday, not because I am in a different country but because I am free of anything that holds me back.
I am mending, building and cherishing relationships. I am giving myself time to ‘not think’. I am doing new and interesting things every day.
Life couldn’t get better.
I don’t know how much I like Dubai, it’s kind of fake. There is too much to swallow, too much to handle.
There are something’s that I have fallen in love with about this place though. Listing them below –
•It is so clean!!! Despite the dust, sand and construction, the buildings are clean. The walls are clean.
•I love the petrol pumps. I love any place that can accommodate a Mc Donalds, Subway, Burger King and a Chinese restaurant along with a supermarket besides fuel and gas.
•The roads are beautiful, lined with the most beautiful flowers. You never see anyone gardening so I wonder when and how do they take care of them.
•I didn’t know I liked cars until I came here. I jump with the same excitement when I spot a Ferrari as I would have if I spotted the most beautiful shoes.
I am making sure I experience a new thing every day. In the past three days, Apart from other touristy things, I have done this –
•First international flight, an unforgettable experience with the immigration officials
•A trip to a water park with crazy rides
•Seen the highest point in the UAE
•A trip to a Sushi bar (I have fallen in love with Sushi)
•Finally learnt to eat with chopsticks (had no choice while eating sushi)
•Authentic Arabic food
It seems like I have been here forever. I am packing away lots of memories in the corners of my mind.
I have no plans for tomorrow and I love a life like that. A life I want to live every single day.
(P.S– more musings on Dubai to follow...)
You are happy when you are in love with yourself.
I had written about how I am going to start living and took a pledge to do that.
I have to admit, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
To start with, I did two things this month that I always wanted to do but never got down to doing them.
I bought my new laptop and I am traveling abroad. Finally!
I am having the best and probably the most memorable holiday, not because I am in a different country but because I am free of anything that holds me back.
I am mending, building and cherishing relationships. I am giving myself time to ‘not think’. I am doing new and interesting things every day.
Life couldn’t get better.
I don’t know how much I like Dubai, it’s kind of fake. There is too much to swallow, too much to handle.
There are something’s that I have fallen in love with about this place though. Listing them below –
•It is so clean!!! Despite the dust, sand and construction, the buildings are clean. The walls are clean.
•I love the petrol pumps. I love any place that can accommodate a Mc Donalds, Subway, Burger King and a Chinese restaurant along with a supermarket besides fuel and gas.
•The roads are beautiful, lined with the most beautiful flowers. You never see anyone gardening so I wonder when and how do they take care of them.
•I didn’t know I liked cars until I came here. I jump with the same excitement when I spot a Ferrari as I would have if I spotted the most beautiful shoes.
I am making sure I experience a new thing every day. In the past three days, Apart from other touristy things, I have done this –
•First international flight, an unforgettable experience with the immigration officials
•A trip to a water park with crazy rides
•Seen the highest point in the UAE
•A trip to a Sushi bar (I have fallen in love with Sushi)
•Finally learnt to eat with chopsticks (had no choice while eating sushi)
•Authentic Arabic food
It seems like I have been here forever. I am packing away lots of memories in the corners of my mind.
I have no plans for tomorrow and I love a life like that. A life I want to live every single day.
(P.S– more musings on Dubai to follow...)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Excerpts from the Dairy of a 16 and 18 year old....
The joy about growing up is looking back and being amazed at the road you took.
I happened to come across some of my old diaries mom has painstakingly preserved.
They had my poems, articles and feelings penned down. They also had some cards and letters I saved in them along with two flowers carefully preserved (for the life of me I don’t remember who, when and where gave them to me!!)
Some excerpts from the diary –
Friday, 3rd April 1998 (the day 10th boards got over)
“... I don’t want to leave; I don’t want anything to change and most of all I don’t want to grow up...”
I did leave, I did grow and I did change. Thank God I did! Though I don’t remember when was the last time I ever thought about the days in school or the days just before I moved to Pune, I do remember the process of change and the feelings I went through at that time.....
Class 9 (year 1997) – paragrph from a poem published in the school newsletter.
...The myriad moods of nature
Show only one reflection...
Mine.”
I was philosophical then I am philosophical now... just more realistic!!!
Letter from Mom (after major fight with the boyfriend at that time) August 2000
“Smart is the woman who can see through the act, yet give occasional boosts to the male ego BUT keep them in their place. It is a tall order indeed. And most of us would say – How? I mean we feel so helpless without the presence of a man in our periphery. So while you give their egos a shove now and then don’t forget to show them that you can do without them a d for that DONT EVER CRY IN THE PRESENCE OF ANY MAN. Because when you cry – you shatter all your build up – I am a woman of substance – and end up looking like a fool.”
Mommmmmy!!!!! I love you. I don’t know if I have mentioned it earlier but I have the coolest folks and my mom simply rocks. I love her for it. Nine years ago my mom was giving me gyan about men. Nine years later it still applies. (I guess I will need to refer to her beautifully written letters when I will need to give my daughter gyan because, men I guess will never change!)
Sadly, I did cry in front of a man a couple of times after that. All of them I realize today didn’t deserve it at all. Soon enough I realized and stopped doing it.
August 6th 2000 (Happy friendship day, handmade card by J)
“Keep the flame of friendship burning all the time” (with a flower looking thing made under it)
J is my bestest friend, if there can be one. I can be honest with her. There are no pretensions between us and that’s the best part. I know it must have taken her ages to make this and pains to write because – she cannot write/draw and most importantly show her affections.
Nine years down the line, we are still burning the flame of friendship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol. (if there was a cheeky line contest this would win hands down!!!)
I’m off now, but my weekend project is to dig out old letters and more diaries and entertain my self... so there will be more of this coming ... read on !!!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
cross connections
On-off, on-off,
The switch in my heart
Building walls
Breaking fences
Off-on, off-on.
Always on,
The switch in my mind,
Solving puzzles,
Inventing riddles,
Always on.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Updates, Updates, Updates
I am super kicked!!!!
The weekend has been great!!!!
1) I bought my "very own" laptop. FINALLY!!!!! and that too a Sony Vaio. I always wanted this. Money has bought happiness!!!!
2)I have spent the entire weekend with R. He is leaving in a few days and I cant miss any moments with him. He is such a delight. Now here is happiness that is so innocent, pure and lovely.
3)I have decided to let go.... now whats the point?
4)Had dinner at La Fiesta, Cannelloni with spinach ... yummmmmmm!!!
I'm spending the Sunday playing with R, updating the laptop, reading and hopefully painting a tequila bottle.
Now, who cares about tomorrow?
:)
The weekend has been great!!!!
1) I bought my "very own" laptop. FINALLY!!!!! and that too a Sony Vaio. I always wanted this. Money has bought happiness!!!!
2)I have spent the entire weekend with R. He is leaving in a few days and I cant miss any moments with him. He is such a delight. Now here is happiness that is so innocent, pure and lovely.
3)I have decided to let go.... now whats the point?
4)Had dinner at La Fiesta, Cannelloni with spinach ... yummmmmmm!!!
I'm spending the Sunday playing with R, updating the laptop, reading and hopefully painting a tequila bottle.
Now, who cares about tomorrow?
:)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The certainty of uncertainty!!!
The last few days have got me contemplating about certainty. We live our lives striving for certainty when everything around us is uncertain.
The core of being is uncertain and ironically the core of not being is the only thing that is certain.
When I heard the news of a twenty nine year old passing away due to some random illness, it hit me that it doesn’t take a second to break the momentum of life.
The past few days and weeks have had me question the basic existence of a lot of things, including myself!
I can step up, get a hold of myself and fight for things, but I’m just not being able to do it.
I want answers first.
Why do I need to do all this when at the end of the day it’s not going to count at all?
Its not about the money in my bank account, it’s not about the number of shoes I own. It’s not about the promotion I will or will not get, its not even about who did get the promotion.
It’s not about the meetings, the presentations, the fight for power. And it’s certainly not about the degrees and the laurels you achieve.
It is, about the way you feel when you see a child smiling innocently at you (I know this is clichéd but I truly experienced this in the past few months)
It’s about the places you go to and the people you meet. It’s about the crazy things you do and the random things in life.
It’s eating ice-cream straight from the carton and blowing soap bubbles into space.
It’s about the times you spend looking at the stars and watching sunsets.
There comes a point in your life when you reflect at the times that never happened. The holidays you never took, the friend you never called, the ‘I’m sorry, I love you’ you never said, the huge cheese burger you never ate…..
That’s when you realize that you weren’t living at all.
You were breathing a robotic existence controlled by other people, destiny and time. The three things that are certainly ‘uncertain’ in life.
Therefore….
I take a pledge to experience, enhance and enrich my existence.
I take a pledge to start living today.
The core of being is uncertain and ironically the core of not being is the only thing that is certain.
When I heard the news of a twenty nine year old passing away due to some random illness, it hit me that it doesn’t take a second to break the momentum of life.
The past few days and weeks have had me question the basic existence of a lot of things, including myself!
I can step up, get a hold of myself and fight for things, but I’m just not being able to do it.
I want answers first.
Why do I need to do all this when at the end of the day it’s not going to count at all?
Its not about the money in my bank account, it’s not about the number of shoes I own. It’s not about the promotion I will or will not get, its not even about who did get the promotion.
It’s not about the meetings, the presentations, the fight for power. And it’s certainly not about the degrees and the laurels you achieve.
It is, about the way you feel when you see a child smiling innocently at you (I know this is clichéd but I truly experienced this in the past few months)
It’s about the places you go to and the people you meet. It’s about the crazy things you do and the random things in life.
It’s eating ice-cream straight from the carton and blowing soap bubbles into space.
It’s about the times you spend looking at the stars and watching sunsets.
There comes a point in your life when you reflect at the times that never happened. The holidays you never took, the friend you never called, the ‘I’m sorry, I love you’ you never said, the huge cheese burger you never ate…..
That’s when you realize that you weren’t living at all.
You were breathing a robotic existence controlled by other people, destiny and time. The three things that are certainly ‘uncertain’ in life.
Therefore….
I take a pledge to experience, enhance and enrich my existence.
I take a pledge to start living today.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The road to Love
Topsy turvy,
Amusingly bumpy,
Ironically twisty,
Sometimes empty,
Mysteriously quirky,
Weirdly clammy,
Lip-smackingly tasty,
Intriguingly lovely...
..The road to love.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Blueberry muffins and conversations....
Every Friday evening since the past one and a half years, I miss Bombay. Weekends in Bombay begin on Friday afternoon. There is always something exciting to do, somewhere exciting to go.
There are so many things I miss about Bombay - (in no particular order)
The sea
The smell (Bombay has a weird smell of salt, fish, shit and trains)
The way its alive at any given point of time
The food
The way you can get out of your house in a pajamas or in a LBD and no one even gives you a second glance
The fact that no one 'really cares'
Wada pav
The fact that one can get a bottle of wine with a wine opener delivered at their doorstep at 3 am
Worli sea face
Colaba causeway
The walks in the by lanes of Bandra
Out of the blue
I could go on and on...
What I am really missing this Friday evening are the Blueberry muffins at The Bagel Shop.
Sitting on the cane chairs.. watching the world go by... eating a blueberry muffin and drinking mint tea while day turns into night and no one cares to ask me to get up and leave. :)
There are so many things I miss about Bombay - (in no particular order)
The sea
The smell (Bombay has a weird smell of salt, fish, shit and trains)
The way its alive at any given point of time
The food
The way you can get out of your house in a pajamas or in a LBD and no one even gives you a second glance
The fact that no one 'really cares'
Wada pav
The fact that one can get a bottle of wine with a wine opener delivered at their doorstep at 3 am
Worli sea face
Colaba causeway
The walks in the by lanes of Bandra
Out of the blue
I could go on and on...
What I am really missing this Friday evening are the Blueberry muffins at The Bagel Shop.
Sitting on the cane chairs.. watching the world go by... eating a blueberry muffin and drinking mint tea while day turns into night and no one cares to ask me to get up and leave. :)
The Bagel Shop at Bandra
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
An ode to my 'low tech' friends!
Continuing the simple “low tech” pleasures of life story, I love how food and good conversation can uplift your mood like nothing else can.
After the week I have had, a dinner and conversation with friends was just so relaxing.
Of course when food is Chinese it takes half my worries away!
Which gets me to a question that’s boggling my mind since quite sometime; everyone says friends are the family we choose. If that’s the case, can we forgo our family if they are not to our liking?
Or do we continue to please or get displeased by the whims and fancies of people who are forced into our lives by people who might not even exist today?
Lucky are those who find friends within their family. But if that doesn’t happen to you, does our society and culture allow you to let go and live your life the way you want to?
I see so many people stuck in a rut because of bonds that they didn’t choose or want. Bonds which they are obligated to whether they like it or not!
Are these people unlucky?
While at dinner today, conversation flowed easily, there were no pretensions. Unlike the past week that has been pretentious and fake in order to please people.
My friends didn’t judge me on the parameters I have been judged lately –
Why are you still ‘single’ at 27?
Why don’t you know what you want to do with your life?
Why do you spend your money the way you do?
Why are you anti social?
Why are you sometimes extra social?
Why do you fall in love so easily?
Why is attraction so important when it comes to ‘settling down’?
Why are you making friends with people who are being termed by others as ‘bad’ people?
My friends listen to my idiosyncrasies as I listen to theirs. It’s my haven where I can be myself, seek comfort and refuge.
There are answers I still seek. I will still pretend and behave the way society expects me to behave. I will still laugh and ignore when someone asks me one of the weird questions.
I will do all that because at the end of the day I know there is that one cup of coffee and a friend I can pour my heart to and that’s all that matters.
After the week I have had, a dinner and conversation with friends was just so relaxing.
Of course when food is Chinese it takes half my worries away!
Which gets me to a question that’s boggling my mind since quite sometime; everyone says friends are the family we choose. If that’s the case, can we forgo our family if they are not to our liking?
Or do we continue to please or get displeased by the whims and fancies of people who are forced into our lives by people who might not even exist today?
Lucky are those who find friends within their family. But if that doesn’t happen to you, does our society and culture allow you to let go and live your life the way you want to?
I see so many people stuck in a rut because of bonds that they didn’t choose or want. Bonds which they are obligated to whether they like it or not!
Are these people unlucky?
While at dinner today, conversation flowed easily, there were no pretensions. Unlike the past week that has been pretentious and fake in order to please people.
My friends didn’t judge me on the parameters I have been judged lately –
Why are you still ‘single’ at 27?
Why don’t you know what you want to do with your life?
Why do you spend your money the way you do?
Why are you anti social?
Why are you sometimes extra social?
Why do you fall in love so easily?
Why is attraction so important when it comes to ‘settling down’?
Why are you making friends with people who are being termed by others as ‘bad’ people?
My friends listen to my idiosyncrasies as I listen to theirs. It’s my haven where I can be myself, seek comfort and refuge.
There are answers I still seek. I will still pretend and behave the way society expects me to behave. I will still laugh and ignore when someone asks me one of the weird questions.
I will do all that because at the end of the day I know there is that one cup of coffee and a friend I can pour my heart to and that’s all that matters.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
27
Twenty freakin seven!!!! On the eve of my twenty seventh birthday, embarking the twenty eighth year of my existence as this person that I have got to know a little bit, but continues to surprise me… I am sitting all alone watching television.
Have I suddenly become old?
In the memories of all the very drunken birthday eve’s and birthdays I have had, I am wondering is 27 really old?
I don’t feel 27. I don’t look 27. But the world is determined to make me feel 27 though. I’m not married, I am at the bottom of the pyramid at a career which I’m not sure I want to be in. I recall a conversation with my mother a few days ago, when she asked me, "where is your life going? You’re 27, do you have a clue of what you want to do?”
I stared at her blankly and answered, “NO, I don’t have one bit of a fucking clue.”
Is it that bad not to have a clue?
Baz Lurhman said, “Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Today, I am sitting here all alone, reading the Memory of my melancholy whores by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, watching Slumdog sweep the Oscars (don’t think it deserves the best film though) and thanks to the writers block long gone, writing furiously.
I hope on my 54th birthday (if I live that long). I know what I am doing, what I want to do. I hope as I look back today and wonder; I also look back and wonder at 54 how the hell did I fit all that in one bloody life?!!!!!
Have I suddenly become old?
In the memories of all the very drunken birthday eve’s and birthdays I have had, I am wondering is 27 really old?
I don’t feel 27. I don’t look 27. But the world is determined to make me feel 27 though. I’m not married, I am at the bottom of the pyramid at a career which I’m not sure I want to be in. I recall a conversation with my mother a few days ago, when she asked me, "where is your life going? You’re 27, do you have a clue of what you want to do?”
I stared at her blankly and answered, “NO, I don’t have one bit of a fucking clue.”
Is it that bad not to have a clue?
Baz Lurhman said, “Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Today, I am sitting here all alone, reading the Memory of my melancholy whores by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, watching Slumdog sweep the Oscars (don’t think it deserves the best film though) and thanks to the writers block long gone, writing furiously.
I hope on my 54th birthday (if I live that long). I know what I am doing, what I want to do. I hope as I look back today and wonder; I also look back and wonder at 54 how the hell did I fit all that in one bloody life?!!!!!
Mr. Apte
Mr. Apte entered my life when I was figuring out what the whole fucking deal about life was! I was living on my own when everyone else I knew was still caged within their cocoons.
I’m sure Mr. Apte rented that room to students to overcome his own loneliness. He was a man of principal. He had the demeanor of a soft spoken old man, but you had to hear him when he was angry. It was scary. Having spent most of his life as a government employee (He was working with the Air India) He had a different class. A bit aristocratic. He would sit in front of the TV for hours on end. He loved eating cabbage bhaji. It’s been eleven years and I still hate the sight of that bhaji I saw every single day.
Sometimes he thought it was his duty to discipline me.
I was never a rebel but I enjoyed my freedom and hated any interference.
I remember times when he would pick up the phone extension and listen to my conversations. Once, he caught me talking to my friend when it was supposed to be my mom and screamed. I cried.
There were times he was sweet though. He took immense care of the schizophrenic servant who stayed with him. Treated him like his own son.
I guess that happens when your own children abandon you.
By the end of the first year I was so engrossed in my new life, college, friends and boy friend that I forgot he existed. I would enter the house, lock my room and stay there. No conversations.
I wonder if I was being a typical teenager or just building a wall between us. I felt guilty at times when I didn’t talk to him for days on end. But there was so much more to do. I didn’t want to waste time talking to a ninety year old.
One day in February 2000 he had a stroke. It was a couple of days after my birthday. His daughter took him to Bombay. I saw him once after that at his home in Bombay. I went to tell him that I had topped my college. I don’t think he recognized me. He passed away soon after that.
I continued to live in that house for another year. It never bothered me that he was not there. I had ignored him long enough.
The years that followed taught me a lot. I became less reckless. I became more sensitive. A couple of years back, one fine day it finally hit me that Mr. Apte had died. I cried.
I think of Mr. Apte once every. That day happens to be my birthday. The old man taught me something I will never forget.
The two birthdays I spent with him were sweet. One year he got the servant to make gajjar halwa and the other year he got me mithai. (I think these were things he secretly wanted to eat! : ) )
On my seventeenth birthday (my first in Pune) He knocked on my door and said, “Wish you a very happy new year!!” I laughed and told him, “Uncle, it’s my birthday.” And he said, “It is a start to everything new, it’s your new year.”
He did the same thing the next year, a couple of days before he had that stroke.
It took me sometime to realize the depth in those words. He was not around for me to tell him that.
Every year on my birthday I remember the complete honestly that man had when he told me that ‘it’s a start to everything new’, it is your new year.’
Every year on my birthday I think of him, wish him well and promise to myself I will not ignore people who care for me.
Every year on my birthday I expect a knock on my door, I wait for someone to say – “Happy new year”
I’m sure Mr. Apte rented that room to students to overcome his own loneliness. He was a man of principal. He had the demeanor of a soft spoken old man, but you had to hear him when he was angry. It was scary. Having spent most of his life as a government employee (He was working with the Air India) He had a different class. A bit aristocratic. He would sit in front of the TV for hours on end. He loved eating cabbage bhaji. It’s been eleven years and I still hate the sight of that bhaji I saw every single day.
Sometimes he thought it was his duty to discipline me.
I was never a rebel but I enjoyed my freedom and hated any interference.
I remember times when he would pick up the phone extension and listen to my conversations. Once, he caught me talking to my friend when it was supposed to be my mom and screamed. I cried.
There were times he was sweet though. He took immense care of the schizophrenic servant who stayed with him. Treated him like his own son.
I guess that happens when your own children abandon you.
By the end of the first year I was so engrossed in my new life, college, friends and boy friend that I forgot he existed. I would enter the house, lock my room and stay there. No conversations.
I wonder if I was being a typical teenager or just building a wall between us. I felt guilty at times when I didn’t talk to him for days on end. But there was so much more to do. I didn’t want to waste time talking to a ninety year old.
One day in February 2000 he had a stroke. It was a couple of days after my birthday. His daughter took him to Bombay. I saw him once after that at his home in Bombay. I went to tell him that I had topped my college. I don’t think he recognized me. He passed away soon after that.
I continued to live in that house for another year. It never bothered me that he was not there. I had ignored him long enough.
The years that followed taught me a lot. I became less reckless. I became more sensitive. A couple of years back, one fine day it finally hit me that Mr. Apte had died. I cried.
I think of Mr. Apte once every. That day happens to be my birthday. The old man taught me something I will never forget.
The two birthdays I spent with him were sweet. One year he got the servant to make gajjar halwa and the other year he got me mithai. (I think these were things he secretly wanted to eat! : ) )
On my seventeenth birthday (my first in Pune) He knocked on my door and said, “Wish you a very happy new year!!” I laughed and told him, “Uncle, it’s my birthday.” And he said, “It is a start to everything new, it’s your new year.”
He did the same thing the next year, a couple of days before he had that stroke.
It took me sometime to realize the depth in those words. He was not around for me to tell him that.
Every year on my birthday I remember the complete honestly that man had when he told me that ‘it’s a start to everything new’, it is your new year.’
Every year on my birthday I think of him, wish him well and promise to myself I will not ignore people who care for me.
Every year on my birthday I expect a knock on my door, I wait for someone to say – “Happy new year”
Saturday, February 21, 2009
DIY - Revamping my wall
This is a long pending post! I revamped a wall in my room last month and have been meaning to post pictures. The idea is simple and cost me around 750/- INR and three hours to finish the job.
I love films and this is something i wanted to do since a long time. A collage of films I love.
I downloaded posters (very easy - all on google, just need to check the resolution) and got them printed on nice glossy paper.
I actually wanted to paint the wall with acrylic, but ended up buying spray paint. Spray paint is expensive but super cool. It dries in minutes and is so easy to use.
I pasted the posters on bright glaze paper and used fevicol to put them up on the wall ( didn't know that could be done, fevicol actually fixes everything !!)
The corner now looks great with mood lighting and the revamped wall ....
My fav corner to click photographs now :)
DIY - Painting glass bottles
I spent this morning painting a vodka bottle. I love the shape of this vodka bottle (Fuel). The idea was inspired by an artist called Aarohi. I added a little touch by pasting bronze and black sequins randomly.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Nothingness
Jumbled
Twisted and turned
Wound up into a ball
Floating within the web
A web called my mind.
Fighting the mesh
Dusting the clouded surfaces
Protruding in-between the wires
Trying to see…
Blank
Blank
Blank
White
White
Void.
Twisted and turned
Wound up into a ball
Floating within the web
A web called my mind.
Fighting the mesh
Dusting the clouded surfaces
Protruding in-between the wires
Trying to see…
Blank
Blank
Blank
White
White
Void.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
BE OK
“Open me up and you will see
I’m a gallery of broken hearts
I’m beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts..” – Ingrid Michealson (Be ok)
I’m a gallery of broken hearts
I’m beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts..” – Ingrid Michealson (Be ok)
Friday, January 23, 2009
Pissed off !!!!
While the world breaks all barriers of communication to become one, we restrict ourselves within borders, our thoughts into shells.
I am appalled at an advertising agency putting restrictions to communication and the internet.
The internet is just so much more than an information source.
It’s where I connect with people, it’s where I express myself, where I share, explore and interact.
I wrote a post earlier how the internet brings us closer yet at the same time increases the distance between people.
Today my expression has been restricted by someone who is a complete outsider.
I feel handicapped.
What pisses me off more is that all it takes is a little buttering up (in decent language) the right people to get an all access???????? wtf.
I am appalled at an advertising agency putting restrictions to communication and the internet.
The internet is just so much more than an information source.
It’s where I connect with people, it’s where I express myself, where I share, explore and interact.
I wrote a post earlier how the internet brings us closer yet at the same time increases the distance between people.
Today my expression has been restricted by someone who is a complete outsider.
I feel handicapped.
What pisses me off more is that all it takes is a little buttering up (in decent language) the right people to get an all access???????? wtf.
My "Rachel moment"
I am talking to someone and suddenly I am floating right above my body, looking at what is happening…. The floating me is so freaking sensible… half of the times she will look down and laugh at the ignorance and complete unawareness of the senseless human body standing below.
This happens to me a lot of times, like today… when the floating me told me – “Are you mad!!! What were you thinking?”
AT used to always tell me to float above my body whenever I’m confused or have a problem… I guess one of the few things he taught me : )
I remember this Friends episode where Rachel wants to tell Ross she still loves him and despite everyone saying she should not she still goes ahead (Ross is married to Emily though!) So, Rachel tells Ross how she feels and suddenly bursts out laughing! Her own floating self tells her she’s so stupid to be doing that.
I had such a “Rachel moment” today. I am standing there thinking; Thank God I didn’t say anything!
This happens to me a lot of times, like today… when the floating me told me – “Are you mad!!! What were you thinking?”
AT used to always tell me to float above my body whenever I’m confused or have a problem… I guess one of the few things he taught me : )
I remember this Friends episode where Rachel wants to tell Ross she still loves him and despite everyone saying she should not she still goes ahead (Ross is married to Emily though!) So, Rachel tells Ross how she feels and suddenly bursts out laughing! Her own floating self tells her she’s so stupid to be doing that.
I had such a “Rachel moment” today. I am standing there thinking; Thank God I didn’t say anything!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Learning to fly
The future is so clear to me that I'm blinded by the transparency. How can I learn to fly when wings are out of my reach?
Friday, January 9, 2009
Illusions
I looked
I did not see
Illusions passed me by
Whirling
Entrapping
Enticing
I swam along and against
Struggled, clashed
Floated, glided
Crashed.
I did not see
Illusions passed me by
Whirling
Entrapping
Enticing
I swam along and against
Struggled, clashed
Floated, glided
Crashed.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
welcoming 2009
Change, Alter, Renovate
The year comes to an end and I am seeing so many things around me fading, changing, and metamorphosing.
I read an interesting article this Sunday on 'Change' and the 'Changelessness of change'
Though change is constant we need to perceive it as stillness in order to maintain calm and balance.
Accepting change and applying it daily is an art.
It seems so difficult to let go and shed off pieces that seem to stick to your mind.
Even though you try to rip off each minute particle that remains in your system… sometimes it mingles with your blood and then its impossible to separate it.
I started writing this post on the 30th and am completing it after a gap 5 days. A lot changed since then, for some people time did, dates did. The new year came and went .... I am glad its over and I am glad to look forward to something that is new and shows hope.
Has it been easy to let go? My new year resolution was to let go of everything that is not important to me, anything that has a negative effect on me - people, places, objects....
A lot of it mixed in my blood, a lot still tied with silk threads where knots are seen clearly.. mended and healed many times yet not perfect. Since the past month I was trying to let go...
Change is so important and vital for growth... it wouldn't be called growth otherwise. Does change become so important and yearned for that we start obsessing over it.
So on the 31st of December, I decided to not think of change. Not think of growth. NO OBSESSION.
I woke up on the 1st and just like that, I had changed, grown, renovated and altered my way of thinking.
It came to me as if it was something natural. I had let go and I didn't even realise when it happened.
One fine day, all the pieces gone.. every bit, every inch cleansed... the day i stopped obsessing about letting go.
I start the year afresh and renewed, with new friends who might come, go or stay.... and old friends who will forever be by my side through eternity.... with love and hope.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
My letter to PJ
Dearest PJ,
Its an evening filled with fun, laughter, singing, dancing, friends and family... all the things you love...
I look around and i catch a glimpse of you... watching us...
I see you smile and raise a toast....
Can anyone else see you?
You tell me to hold back those tears one more time... you are here... with me and with all of us....
So clearly... like the last time we spoke....
We sing songs you used to sing, and I can hear you sing too....
Can anyone else hear you?
Did I forget to tell you how much I have missed you? How lucky I was to have a father figure, a friend, a confidant in one person? Did i forget to tell you i miss our long conversations? The taste of the food you make, because no one else can ever cook like that! Did i forget to tell you that when you scolded me, I learnt some valuable lessons in life.
That the last time we spoke, I wish we had spoken longer..... Did i ever tell you that?
I have not had words in all these months to express my loss.... But today I see you here... with all of us, I know my family is complete and will always be.
I can tell you all of this today, I tell you that I have missed you.... I have missed talking to you....
And you just smile and answer, that you have always been here, I just never looked.
A teardrop still rolls down my cheek... as we exchange a goodbye... only to meet again, very soon.
I know you are here.... in a place not very far away....
Love,
Aanchal
Its an evening filled with fun, laughter, singing, dancing, friends and family... all the things you love...
I look around and i catch a glimpse of you... watching us...
I see you smile and raise a toast....
Can anyone else see you?
You tell me to hold back those tears one more time... you are here... with me and with all of us....
So clearly... like the last time we spoke....
We sing songs you used to sing, and I can hear you sing too....
Can anyone else hear you?
Did I forget to tell you how much I have missed you? How lucky I was to have a father figure, a friend, a confidant in one person? Did i forget to tell you i miss our long conversations? The taste of the food you make, because no one else can ever cook like that! Did i forget to tell you that when you scolded me, I learnt some valuable lessons in life.
That the last time we spoke, I wish we had spoken longer..... Did i ever tell you that?
I have not had words in all these months to express my loss.... But today I see you here... with all of us, I know my family is complete and will always be.
I can tell you all of this today, I tell you that I have missed you.... I have missed talking to you....
And you just smile and answer, that you have always been here, I just never looked.
A teardrop still rolls down my cheek... as we exchange a goodbye... only to meet again, very soon.
I know you are here.... in a place not very far away....
Love,
Aanchal
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The second concpet - Memories
The whole idea came from A and me discussing how we have smelt our husband's/Boyfriends tee shirt and the Cologne smell has reminded us of them when they are not around ...
That's when we went to list down a million things smells remind us off ... home, food, childhood, vacations ...
Everyone we spoke to had an amazing insight to give ... I thought i was the only smell obsessed person.. but smells do really invoke memories...
That's when we came up with Re: .... read on ... (I'm seriously thinking of copy writing now... or these guys better pay me more money ! ) ... pls. note. the first three lines have been inspired by a poem .. memory lane... the rest is original :)
Tickles and hugs
Of gentle moments in the sun
These things that memory brings when sitting alone….
As I walk down the memory lane
Reviving those moments that we left behind
A whiff of your perfume
Makes me snuggle inside….
Outside the rain falls again
As I look out into an ocean of reflections
The smell of the whispering breeze takes me into a realm
I left far far behind …
The sweet aroma of lilies
Enchanting
Alluring
Like a walk in the clouds
Takes me to a place distant …
A home
Breathe life into you
Relive moments
Re-discover yourself.
Introducing Re: blah blah blah ....
That's when we went to list down a million things smells remind us off ... home, food, childhood, vacations ...
Everyone we spoke to had an amazing insight to give ... I thought i was the only smell obsessed person.. but smells do really invoke memories...
That's when we came up with Re: .... read on ... (I'm seriously thinking of copy writing now... or these guys better pay me more money ! ) ... pls. note. the first three lines have been inspired by a poem .. memory lane... the rest is original :)
Tickles and hugs
Of gentle moments in the sun
These things that memory brings when sitting alone….
As I walk down the memory lane
Reviving those moments that we left behind
A whiff of your perfume
Makes me snuggle inside….
Outside the rain falls again
As I look out into an ocean of reflections
The smell of the whispering breeze takes me into a realm
I left far far behind …
The sweet aroma of lilies
Enchanting
Alluring
Like a walk in the clouds
Takes me to a place distant …
A home
Breathe life into you
Relive moments
Re-discover yourself.
Introducing Re: blah blah blah ....
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
The 'Ten things i do before I die' list
Inspired by the movie, an attempt to make my list - (in order of what first comes into my mind)
1. Visit Greece .. stay there for sometime (hope this is counted as one!)
2. Sky Dive
3. Learn to dance (I am the self confessed worst dancer ever, someday I shall learn!)
4. Relive a day at Symbiosis college once again :)
5. Be home with Mom, dad and Anubhav and do NOTHING for a day
6. Taste every possible cuisine I can
7. Get a tattoo (hopefully this should be happening very soon)
8. Play the violin
9. Experience motherhood
10.
I have been thinking for ten minutes and nothing substantial has come into my mind .... so I guess my list ends at 9 things to do... at least for now....
The list will change very soon I'm sure. Maybe I should keep it as 'things to do before I'm 30' list .....
1. Visit Greece .. stay there for sometime (hope this is counted as one!)
2. Sky Dive
3. Learn to dance (I am the self confessed worst dancer ever, someday I shall learn!)
4. Relive a day at Symbiosis college once again :)
5. Be home with Mom, dad and Anubhav and do NOTHING for a day
6. Taste every possible cuisine I can
7. Get a tattoo (hopefully this should be happening very soon)
8. Play the violin
9. Experience motherhood
10.
I have been thinking for ten minutes and nothing substantial has come into my mind .... so I guess my list ends at 9 things to do... at least for now....
The list will change very soon I'm sure. Maybe I should keep it as 'things to do before I'm 30' list .....
2am concept development!!!
It is two in the morning, just came back after watching Dasvadaniya. Vinay Pathak is outstanding. The movie reminded me of ‘The bucket list’, it’s a bit slow… The message is strong, so worth a watch.. I love the song “mumma”.
I came back thinking I should make my ‘ten things to do before I die’ list.
The list hasn’t been worked out till now, but finally a concept for a new product has.. :)
So we have been working on this since a year, Abhilasha and me, struggling to keep it alive and kicking… the little new product we want to christen!!
Today we were stuck on concepts. We have presented a good one, but like a typical client… HE WANTS MORE!!!!! So yeah dude… take MORE!!!
Anyways, the mind block/writers block or whatever you might call it had come big time when suddenly enlightenment dawned … Thanks to Rohit … yet again!!!!
He will always save my ass where writing is concerned!!!
Rohit used to sing the song – She’s always a woman to me (Billy Joel) for me :)
And there it was, right in front of me … my concept ….
The song will be made into a sweet, teary AV… and the concept will be something like this …..
The idea is that there are no ugly women, only lazy ones!! Every woman is beautiful…
She is mystery
She is mischief
She can flutter, and she can fly
She can be many people at one time
She can run and she might hide
She can be what she wants
Just swaying in her stride
Unveil her splendor
Unwrap those layers
Unleash her passions
She is beauty
She is a story untold
She is a woman
She is you.
Love yourself again, Be you, Be a woman.
And .. blah blah blah .. product window... :)
I came back thinking I should make my ‘ten things to do before I die’ list.
The list hasn’t been worked out till now, but finally a concept for a new product has.. :)
So we have been working on this since a year, Abhilasha and me, struggling to keep it alive and kicking… the little new product we want to christen!!
Today we were stuck on concepts. We have presented a good one, but like a typical client… HE WANTS MORE!!!!! So yeah dude… take MORE!!!
Anyways, the mind block/writers block or whatever you might call it had come big time when suddenly enlightenment dawned … Thanks to Rohit … yet again!!!!
He will always save my ass where writing is concerned!!!
Rohit used to sing the song – She’s always a woman to me (Billy Joel) for me :)
And there it was, right in front of me … my concept ….
The song will be made into a sweet, teary AV… and the concept will be something like this …..
The idea is that there are no ugly women, only lazy ones!! Every woman is beautiful…
She is mystery
She is mischief
She can flutter, and she can fly
She can be many people at one time
She can run and she might hide
She can be what she wants
Just swaying in her stride
Unveil her splendor
Unwrap those layers
Unleash her passions
She is beauty
She is a story untold
She is a woman
She is you.
Love yourself again, Be you, Be a woman.
And .. blah blah blah .. product window... :)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The boy who ate alone...
I sat around cribbing about the mundane things that were going around
The job that didn’t seem quite right
The dress that didn’t fit
The boy who didn’t love me
The shoe that broke
The friends who weren’t there
The list went on and on….
And then, in a brief moment of enlightenment
I saw a man, The photocopy man as I know him
His back towards me, and the world I knew
Slowly eating his measly lunch from a small Tiffin box
I made my own copies
While I continued to stare at him
His loneliness piercing my eyes
His simplicity overwhelming me
In a brief moment of enlightenment
Gratitude filling in my skin.. rushing deep into my veins
I thanked and thanked
For what, I don’t know
Life, problems, people, love….
I just thanked.
The job that didn’t seem quite right
The dress that didn’t fit
The boy who didn’t love me
The shoe that broke
The friends who weren’t there
The list went on and on….
And then, in a brief moment of enlightenment
I saw a man, The photocopy man as I know him
His back towards me, and the world I knew
Slowly eating his measly lunch from a small Tiffin box
I made my own copies
While I continued to stare at him
His loneliness piercing my eyes
His simplicity overwhelming me
In a brief moment of enlightenment
Gratitude filling in my skin.. rushing deep into my veins
I thanked and thanked
For what, I don’t know
Life, problems, people, love….
I just thanked.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The end of innocence
There are certain people who come into your life to teach you certain lessons. Sometimes they make you understand yourself; sometimes they pick you up and transcend you into another universe.
Eventually they just vanish.
It takes an art to recognize these people. They are teachers of a higher kind; they can show you faces of your personality you didn’t even know existed.
They are not always nice to you and most often they will leave you wondering what hit you…where did that wind blew from and took everything away, stripped your emotions naked, exposed and open.
When you recognize, understand, comprehend, experience and let go of these people is when you eventually lose and end your innocence.
Moving out of home was when this process started for me, meeting people from all around, consciously exploring as much as I could. Trying to decipher people with their distinct personalities and growing, evolving along the way.
I lived with ideals and certain set of rules… presuming I could control destiny and fate.
But life has many lessons to offer.
People who live with a set of rules have the hardest time ending their innocence.
It took me ten years to do something I don’t believe in, would have never thought I would do, to break my rules, to end my innocence.
It took me ten years to recognize that my teachers can come in any form, teach me hard lessons and vanish as fast as they came into my life.
I will reason and question the sudden popping up of these people in my life but I will be helpless to destiny and fate. So helpless that I will have to bend, twist and turn, at times turn a blind eye to protect myself.
It took me ten years to close this circle, tie a knot and throw it away in a corner of my life.
The process is complete, the cycle has ended.
I have ended my innocence……embarked upon a new ship, a new journey on an endless ocean till I find another port, another island, another time to rest.
Eventually they just vanish.
It takes an art to recognize these people. They are teachers of a higher kind; they can show you faces of your personality you didn’t even know existed.
They are not always nice to you and most often they will leave you wondering what hit you…where did that wind blew from and took everything away, stripped your emotions naked, exposed and open.
When you recognize, understand, comprehend, experience and let go of these people is when you eventually lose and end your innocence.
Moving out of home was when this process started for me, meeting people from all around, consciously exploring as much as I could. Trying to decipher people with their distinct personalities and growing, evolving along the way.
I lived with ideals and certain set of rules… presuming I could control destiny and fate.
But life has many lessons to offer.
People who live with a set of rules have the hardest time ending their innocence.
It took me ten years to do something I don’t believe in, would have never thought I would do, to break my rules, to end my innocence.
It took me ten years to recognize that my teachers can come in any form, teach me hard lessons and vanish as fast as they came into my life.
I will reason and question the sudden popping up of these people in my life but I will be helpless to destiny and fate. So helpless that I will have to bend, twist and turn, at times turn a blind eye to protect myself.
It took me ten years to close this circle, tie a knot and throw it away in a corner of my life.
The process is complete, the cycle has ended.
I have ended my innocence……embarked upon a new ship, a new journey on an endless ocean till I find another port, another island, another time to rest.
A couple of days for – eating, praying and loving. : PUNE and BOMBAY
Our diet for the three days in Pune.. :)
@ east street cafe in the bus...I never write about my trips to Bombay for merely two reasons: 1) I go there way to often 2) they are always weekend trips, filled with the usual Chinese restaurants, out of the blue type coffee shops and the evening spent at Hawaiian shack.
This trip however is worth mentioning…..
Last week, with a generous six day paid holiday from office I took off to Bombay and Pune.
Bombay was great, busy and stressed - All the things we love and hate about it.
The girls bonded, ate, laughed, drank and shopped (shamelessly)
Two highlights in Bombay were eating awesome chicken and duck lasagna at DelItalia at Juhu. The place has an amazing location right opposite the Juhu beach with an enclosed patio where you can enjoy your dinner while watching the world go by.
The second highlight was Olive, supposed to be a hi-end restaurant and lounge but for some reason was packed with jerks the one night J, M and I went there. We had guys spilling drinks, eavesdropping on our conversation, a very dumb Yuvraj singh looking at the menu for 15 odd minutes. The evening was eventfully entertaining!
The next day we left for Pune ….
Pune has changed and how!!! I was shocked, from the city I remember to the city it has become is commendable. The roads are wide, traffic is sorted and there is food.. good food… very good food. :)
Restaurants like The ship (serves excellent Moroccan cuisine), Gaya (for the beauty of the place) and Stone water grill (for the ambiance and the chicken pate) and east street café (its just the cutest place ever) are world class and can give any place in Bombay and Delhi a run for their money.
Of course Vaishali still exists :) and we hogged on uttapas and idlis for breakfast one day…..
Jahnvis house in Pune is one of the few places in the world that give me peace, security and relaxation at the same time. I guess I have seen myself grow up in that place for the five years I was in this city,
The house was bare though… we slept on the floor. Can’t thank Rohan enough for his kindness and the supply of mattress, pillows, chocolates, odomos and an IPOD doc!
Three days in Pune did to us what a million trips anywhere haven’t done. The closest that comes to this trip is Kihim where J, M and I took off on a whim, had a blast and came back HAPPY.
I guess that’s what they call getting back to your roots. We would sit in the garden, enjoying the evening chill… not talking, not thinking… just being.
You can just BE only with people who knew you before you knew yourself…
To be with people like that is the luckiest one can get…. And well, we were lucky.
I let go in every possible way, ate, prayed and loved.
Soothed my soul, relived my memories, and revived something that was dead in me….
This trip however is worth mentioning…..
Last week, with a generous six day paid holiday from office I took off to Bombay and Pune.
Bombay was great, busy and stressed - All the things we love and hate about it.
The girls bonded, ate, laughed, drank and shopped (shamelessly)
Two highlights in Bombay were eating awesome chicken and duck lasagna at DelItalia at Juhu. The place has an amazing location right opposite the Juhu beach with an enclosed patio where you can enjoy your dinner while watching the world go by.
The second highlight was Olive, supposed to be a hi-end restaurant and lounge but for some reason was packed with jerks the one night J, M and I went there. We had guys spilling drinks, eavesdropping on our conversation, a very dumb Yuvraj singh looking at the menu for 15 odd minutes. The evening was eventfully entertaining!
The next day we left for Pune ….
Pune has changed and how!!! I was shocked, from the city I remember to the city it has become is commendable. The roads are wide, traffic is sorted and there is food.. good food… very good food. :)
Restaurants like The ship (serves excellent Moroccan cuisine), Gaya (for the beauty of the place) and Stone water grill (for the ambiance and the chicken pate) and east street café (its just the cutest place ever) are world class and can give any place in Bombay and Delhi a run for their money.
Of course Vaishali still exists :) and we hogged on uttapas and idlis for breakfast one day…..
Jahnvis house in Pune is one of the few places in the world that give me peace, security and relaxation at the same time. I guess I have seen myself grow up in that place for the five years I was in this city,
The house was bare though… we slept on the floor. Can’t thank Rohan enough for his kindness and the supply of mattress, pillows, chocolates, odomos and an IPOD doc!
Three days in Pune did to us what a million trips anywhere haven’t done. The closest that comes to this trip is Kihim where J, M and I took off on a whim, had a blast and came back HAPPY.
I guess that’s what they call getting back to your roots. We would sit in the garden, enjoying the evening chill… not talking, not thinking… just being.
You can just BE only with people who knew you before you knew yourself…
To be with people like that is the luckiest one can get…. And well, we were lucky.
I let go in every possible way, ate, prayed and loved.
Soothed my soul, relived my memories, and revived something that was dead in me….
Monday, October 20, 2008
The expansion of my life....
" The expansion of one person, the magnification of one life is indeed an act of worth in this world, even if that life... just this one time happens to be nobody's but my own" - Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love.
I started reading this book a month back, have finished only one fourth of it, but I am inspired.
A lot of Ms. Gilbert reminds me of me. Maybe its her thirst for answers, her indecisiveness, her longing, her spirit for survival...
Her ability to finally understand that life comes around only once (no guarantees on that, but why take a chance? :) )
An expansion of my life would mean so much ... for once, to do myself a favour... live for myself... accept selfishness as a virtue (I have always believed we all live for what makes us happy, so we all are selfish, we just don't ..well.... accept it.) .. take a few more risks... eat without guilt...
pray when i want to ... and when i don't want to.... love without boundaries, without conditions...
listen to my heart a little more... listen to my head a little less.... experience more and more....
take off on a whim... pamper my self without guilt....
For once... live for no one but myself.....
I started reading this book a month back, have finished only one fourth of it, but I am inspired.
A lot of Ms. Gilbert reminds me of me. Maybe its her thirst for answers, her indecisiveness, her longing, her spirit for survival...
Her ability to finally understand that life comes around only once (no guarantees on that, but why take a chance? :) )
An expansion of my life would mean so much ... for once, to do myself a favour... live for myself... accept selfishness as a virtue (I have always believed we all live for what makes us happy, so we all are selfish, we just don't ..well.... accept it.) .. take a few more risks... eat without guilt...
pray when i want to ... and when i don't want to.... love without boundaries, without conditions...
listen to my heart a little more... listen to my head a little less.... experience more and more....
take off on a whim... pamper my self without guilt....
For once... live for no one but myself.....
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Falling out of love
How do u fall out of love?
...deliberately..
...consciously...
How do you stop loving someone....
You didn't fall in love with conditions, terms and rules
You didn't fall in love to fall out of it...
How do you forget?
How do you go back to when there was nothing?
You didn't fall in love to fall out of it....
...deliberately..
...consciously...
How do you stop loving someone....
You didn't fall in love with conditions, terms and rules
You didn't fall in love to fall out of it...
How do you forget?
How do you go back to when there was nothing?
You didn't fall in love to fall out of it....
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Interesting
Found this while browsing .... very interesting very true... very 20 something, single, mumbai chic
http://thecompulsiveconfessor.blogspot.com/2007/11/to-all-boys-i-loved-before-soliloquy-at.html
http://thecompulsiveconfessor.blogspot.com/2007/11/to-all-boys-i-loved-before-soliloquy-at.html
To Delhi......
On my way from Amritsar to Delhi in the train… a cup of hot tea in my hands and I am looking outside the wide train window at endless fields stretching to eternity…
The sun is rising as I look at it through the smoke…
It’s a blur…
Like every change, like everything new, like every new beginning…
The sun is rising as I look at it through the smoke…
It’s a blur…
Like every change, like everything new, like every new beginning…
Wagah border
Carnival time at the Wagah Border, the crowd dances on rang de basanti while BSF jawans look on ....
Bringing down the flag....
Amritsar almost borders with Pakistan and a 30 minute drive takes you to the Wagah Border.
We decided to go for the border closing ceremony that takes place everyday in the evening… Not expecting too much of a ho-hum, we took a cab through lush green fields .. so Punjab … the whole air speaks of that … !
Just before the border gate somewhere around Atari station there is a milestone that says – Lahore 23.
So I ask the driver … why cant we just keep driving … straight to a road that leads to where I come from?
He just laughs at my absurd question….
But that milestone haunts me …
The ceremony is nothing less than a carnival … 2000 people … blaring music… screaming crowds and dancing children!
Who dances on the border… ? well we do ….
Indians… with the undying sprit to make the most of nothing… with the spirit to celebrate for no reason… to let go in front of strangers… if we can pee on the road .. we can certainly break into a jig at our country’s border!
I get goose bumps when we scream in unison – Vande Mataram….
100 meters from where I sit, I can see roofs and small houses… In Pakistan … The people sitting on the other side of the gate look the same, are wearing the same clothes…
They talk the same language …..
61 years ago, there was no gate… there weren’t lines and borders…
I don’t mean to sound idealistic… but I really wonder …. Because I am confused ….
With the feeling of love for my country there is also a feeling of compassion for people who are sitting across and are connected to me… to my roots…
I wonder why we fight..why we draw lines and why we never let go…..
Why links that are broken once cannot be joined again….
As the Indian and Pakistani flags are bought down as the sun sets, I am aware that there is a sun rising in another part of the world…. There is enlightenment happening somewhere else….
Can I capture a bit of that …. Can WE capture a bit of that?
Monday, October 6, 2008
Amritsar
The Golden Temple is surreal… It is peace encompassed in one complex. Which is weird because I don’t like crowded places of worship, the reason I don’t like visiting temples because I cant pray in peace.
This place has a certain aura about it which commands peace.
It is exactly like my dream… so I’m sure of a past life connection and the events that have bought me here…. Suddenly it is all very clear and linked.
I see the temple in the morning and then at night… at both times there is a certain calmness that engulfs me…
I am glad I came here, I am glad for everything ….
This place has a certain aura about it which commands peace.
It is exactly like my dream… so I’m sure of a past life connection and the events that have bought me here…. Suddenly it is all very clear and linked.
I see the temple in the morning and then at night… at both times there is a certain calmness that engulfs me…
I am glad I came here, I am glad for everything ….
Sunday, September 21, 2008
STOP 1: JAIPUR
@ the Albert hall museumThey say when you are happy, time passes really slow... you enjoy each moment...
The vacation started exactly like that....
a train journey, after a long long time, with a group of people and lots of food !! I had forgotten how much fun it was to be in a train eat aaloo bhaji and puris in paper plates... offering the fellow passengers and for the next half an hour we were a one big happy family !!!!
More so because the train we were travelling in (Garib rath !!!!!!) is a budget ac train .. I am amazed and proud of Mr. Laloo Prasad .. he has liberated the Indian common man!!!!!
So we reached Jaipur and started the morning with a glass of chilled beer with breakfast ... now life cant get better than that ... when you're with friends.. happy... sharing a beer and good food. Its perfect.
We went sightseeing during the day .. Albert hall museum and the City palace... shopping at Johari bazar which is a treat for silver lovers... an auto ride later we were exhausted and stayed in just drank through the evening.... :)
The vacation started exactly like that....
a train journey, after a long long time, with a group of people and lots of food !! I had forgotten how much fun it was to be in a train eat aaloo bhaji and puris in paper plates... offering the fellow passengers and for the next half an hour we were a one big happy family !!!!
More so because the train we were travelling in (Garib rath !!!!!!) is a budget ac train .. I am amazed and proud of Mr. Laloo Prasad .. he has liberated the Indian common man!!!!!
So we reached Jaipur and started the morning with a glass of chilled beer with breakfast ... now life cant get better than that ... when you're with friends.. happy... sharing a beer and good food. Its perfect.
We went sightseeing during the day .. Albert hall museum and the City palace... shopping at Johari bazar which is a treat for silver lovers... an auto ride later we were exhausted and stayed in just drank through the evening.... :)
hmmmm.... i am soaking in every second ....
somethings are perfect.. you don't know how to make them better ...
There are very few places in the world where you can be yourself.... there are very few times in life when you can be honest .... this is one of them ...
Another palace (Amer) and 5 alloo parathas for lunch later we are now getting ready for dinner ... to Nargarh fort and Choker Dani ... some authentic Rajasthani cuisine...
Tomorrow we head to Delhi ... and later in the evening to Amritsar ...
somethings are perfect.. you don't know how to make them better ...
There are very few places in the world where you can be yourself.... there are very few times in life when you can be honest .... this is one of them ...
Another palace (Amer) and 5 alloo parathas for lunch later we are now getting ready for dinner ... to Nargarh fort and Choker Dani ... some authentic Rajasthani cuisine...
Tomorrow we head to Delhi ... and later in the evening to Amritsar ...
Friday, September 19, 2008
vacation time
So my much awaited vacation time is here... After much speculation of where to go and where not to go ... I am off to jaipur, delhi and amritsar.
I am excited and queasy at the same time... After the way the past few months have been, there is a feeling of guilt while having fun... there is also the perpetual reminder of what i am leaving behind. Perhaps forever. I don't know if i am ready to let go yet... and I know this trip will make me do just that....
so with mixed emotions I embark ....
Hope to blog through the week ...
:)
I am excited and queasy at the same time... After the way the past few months have been, there is a feeling of guilt while having fun... there is also the perpetual reminder of what i am leaving behind. Perhaps forever. I don't know if i am ready to let go yet... and I know this trip will make me do just that....
so with mixed emotions I embark ....
Hope to blog through the week ...
:)
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Bless us God
There are times when you feel helpless... truly helpless and truly sad.
that's when you realise that all the emotions you felt and perceived as sadness were nothing but disappointment.
True sadness comes with helplessness where you are bound by time, place, distance... where you have no right words, no right things to do and say.
The sadness for someone else.....
That's when you turn to God, to The Power or whatever one may call it and Pray.
In this time of trouble all I can do is pray... I am so helpless that all I can do is pray.
Bless us God, Bless us all.
that's when you realise that all the emotions you felt and perceived as sadness were nothing but disappointment.
True sadness comes with helplessness where you are bound by time, place, distance... where you have no right words, no right things to do and say.
The sadness for someone else.....
That's when you turn to God, to The Power or whatever one may call it and Pray.
In this time of trouble all I can do is pray... I am so helpless that all I can do is pray.
Bless us God, Bless us all.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
5 sure shot ways to lose a girl (friend)
1. Start as friends, move to the next level and then chicken out
2. Tell her it was a MISTAKE. (after you have sort of dated for a while)
3. Treat her as a buddy one moment and as a girlfriend the other
4. Think saying sorry on SMS and EMAIL is OK … (cz you’re actually just friends)
5. Keep the developments under wraps (between the two of you!!!!)
2. Tell her it was a MISTAKE. (after you have sort of dated for a while)
3. Treat her as a buddy one moment and as a girlfriend the other
4. Think saying sorry on SMS and EMAIL is OK … (cz you’re actually just friends)
5. Keep the developments under wraps (between the two of you!!!!)
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Isolated
What an amazing start to the day, I get into work, switch on my computer and there it is … a long email from a friend … it was more of a letter…
Im not used to getting emails like that.. I get facebook alerts, Google alerts and newsletters by the hour … but like emails where people talk about their lives … haven’t got those in a while…
This got me thinking that less than 10 years ago I could never imagine this would happen. I used tow rite a letter to my family everyday and at least a letter to a friend once in two days … I used to receive letters everyday too…
The maximum I do now is occasional chats … random pointless chats … checking my facebook account for news on other friends (thanks to news feed) I know what’s happening in their lives and don’t have the time to know more.
What a pity… I love technology and I don’t know how I would function without Google search and windows…. But what also amazes me is the irony…
I am isolated even though I am always connected.
Im not used to getting emails like that.. I get facebook alerts, Google alerts and newsletters by the hour … but like emails where people talk about their lives … haven’t got those in a while…
This got me thinking that less than 10 years ago I could never imagine this would happen. I used tow rite a letter to my family everyday and at least a letter to a friend once in two days … I used to receive letters everyday too…
The maximum I do now is occasional chats … random pointless chats … checking my facebook account for news on other friends (thanks to news feed) I know what’s happening in their lives and don’t have the time to know more.
What a pity… I love technology and I don’t know how I would function without Google search and windows…. But what also amazes me is the irony…
I am isolated even though I am always connected.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Ever wondered..... ???
Have you ever felt lonely in a crowd?
Have you ever waited knowing there is nothing like time?
Have you ever searched for something that was eternally yours?
Have you ever looked inside the eyes of a complete stranger hoping to see the light?
Have you ever looked inside and seen a different person?
Someone you didn’t know existed…
Have you ever wished you were that person?
Have you ever wanted to turn back time?
Or jump way into the future?
Have you forgotten that there was a today…..
Ever wondered what this life could be.. if it weren’t for the choices you made….
Ever wondered that the simplest of questions have the deepest of answers….
....Love was all that there is … eternal, encompassing and fulfilling.
Aanchal - 28 july 2008
Have you ever waited knowing there is nothing like time?
Have you ever searched for something that was eternally yours?
Have you ever looked inside the eyes of a complete stranger hoping to see the light?
Have you ever looked inside and seen a different person?
Someone you didn’t know existed…
Have you ever wished you were that person?
Have you ever wanted to turn back time?
Or jump way into the future?
Have you forgotten that there was a today…..
Ever wondered what this life could be.. if it weren’t for the choices you made….
Ever wondered that the simplest of questions have the deepest of answers….
....Love was all that there is … eternal, encompassing and fulfilling.
Aanchal - 28 july 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
TO BE
There is so much to say
Yet words fail to express
My deepest desires
My reasons to be
My questions of existence
My answers to life
Yet words fail to express
My deepest desires
My reasons to be
My questions of existence
My answers to life
Thursday, June 19, 2008
hazaaron khwaishein aisi - Mirza Ghalib
"Hazaaron khwaishein
har khwaish pe dum nikle
Bahut nikle mere armaan
lekin phir bhi kam nikle"
- Mirza Ghalib
Friday, June 13, 2008
For a crime you did not commit....
How many times have we lived with a guilt which was worthless?
How many times have we lived in the fear that we might displease someone?
For a crime we have not committed ... we continue to bear the brunt ... to live for other peoples expectations.....
why would we do that?
It saddens me .... to see why expectations become bigger than accepting. Why an ideal picture for someone else never seems to be the perfect one for another....
why such simple truths we fail to recognise.
why we end up loosing every minute of our day to the past...
I see this all around me ... with people i know so well... people i love so much .... and thats what saddens me so much .... because somewhere im sure it saddens them too.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
The big fat punjabi wedding!!!!!
The past week has passed in such chaos … chaos that was fun. My younger cousin got engaged on Friday ….. With the whole family in tow … 3 days of drinking.. eating and family gossip for a 5 minute ceremony :)
Punjabis are a loveable race!! I am so proud to be one because I love the way the whole family connects even if we meet once in two years… suddenly there is so much to talk about .. so much to do …
There is a major problem with the punjus though …. They all have opinions...everyone thinks they know best… So what typically happens in every Punjabi wedding, groups are formed …. One person trying to head the whole show (that’s usually the one who was missing from all the action earlier and arrives at the last minute trying to be one up !!! )
I find all this very amusing, more amusing is the whole ceremony which takes place in a mere 5 minutes. The whole show according to me needs to be a very close knit, sweet and personal occasion. In the crazy frenzy of rituals and rites the sweetest moments are forgotten ….
In pleasing the whole world the most important moments pass by without soaking them in to the hearts content.
I see the typical Punjabi affair and hope and pray I don’t go through this someday even though I love being a part of it…
I can’t have a million strangers stuffing my face with ladoos …. !!!! :D
Punjabis are a loveable race!! I am so proud to be one because I love the way the whole family connects even if we meet once in two years… suddenly there is so much to talk about .. so much to do …
There is a major problem with the punjus though …. They all have opinions...everyone thinks they know best… So what typically happens in every Punjabi wedding, groups are formed …. One person trying to head the whole show (that’s usually the one who was missing from all the action earlier and arrives at the last minute trying to be one up !!! )
I find all this very amusing, more amusing is the whole ceremony which takes place in a mere 5 minutes. The whole show according to me needs to be a very close knit, sweet and personal occasion. In the crazy frenzy of rituals and rites the sweetest moments are forgotten ….
In pleasing the whole world the most important moments pass by without soaking them in to the hearts content.
I see the typical Punjabi affair and hope and pray I don’t go through this someday even though I love being a part of it…
I can’t have a million strangers stuffing my face with ladoos …. !!!! :D
Sunday, June 1, 2008
The end of the GM diet
I finally ended the GM yesterday .... I have lost around 3 kgs.... my jeans fit very comfortably...
The best part is my skin looks great... i guess all the water has done its trick...!!!
will I try it again???
Yes!!!!! for nothing else but the way it has made me feel, more energetic... fresh and lighter ...
I guess the detoxifying thing really works and I recommend everyone to do this at least once in two months to cleanse your system....!!
The best part is my skin looks great... i guess all the water has done its trick...!!!
will I try it again???
Yes!!!!! for nothing else but the way it has made me feel, more energetic... fresh and lighter ...
I guess the detoxifying thing really works and I recommend everyone to do this at least once in two months to cleanse your system....!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
