Memoirs From London

"What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows...

Feel the blades of lush, green grass tickle your toes as you lie back to stare blankly at a serene blue sky filled with pristine clouds in different shapes and sizes. Pigeons chirp near you, perhaps one hops on your leg and then moves on; there is no other sound but that of a cool breeze that caresses your hair softly. You close your eyes and forget that there is a world that exists of which you are a part. 

One of the most important memories I will take back from London and suggest to everyone who is lucky to visit London during summers is to take a nap in a park every day.

 There is simply nothing better you can do to enjoy the calmness of a busy city than lie down in a park on a sunny day and watch the world go by.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass...

You can take the bus, a tour guide or hop from one tube station to another but nothing compares to the beauty you will see when you walk in London. (beware though, Londoners love jaywalking)

Cobbled streets that lead into each other with tiny cafes serving a modest meal. Fruit sellers that have the most amazing variety of cherries and an assortment of berries, have a chat with them and they will have a story to tell. 

Flowers wild and fancy with sleepy shopkeepers, Artists, strumming a guitar or playing the piano, sit and listen a while and then walk ahead to meet a street performer who will entertain you and make you laugh a little, admire architecture that oozes history of centuries, and almost everything a masterpiece in itself. 

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

London  hits you with a distinct, high energy, cultural vibe that engulfs you and you don’t have a choice but to become a part of it! 

Grab a corner at Piccadilly Circus or Leicester Square, a twenty four hour carnival and observe....people change as often as the ads on the screens, there are all sorts you will find here and I for one could spend a day just looking at people.  Watch a theatre production, as you enter an old theatre and you can almost feel the hundreds of people who have sat in the seats, the glamour, the music the charm. It’s an era you don’t mind being transported into! 

Stuff your faces with glorious food, Fish & chips with beer on a rainy afternoon, warm waffles in the morning or a modest breakfast of baked beans on toast. Indian Curry (The official dish!) or Arabic Cuisine the streets of London are a foodies paradise!

A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare."

You don’t need a long holiday to bring back the zest you have been missing in and around you, to lose yourself in the midst of strangers in a unknown city and then to find your place in it, is perhaps the easiest way to finding yourself. 

Please Note: The Poem – Leisure By W.H. Davies is an inspiration to this post, he happens to be one of my favorite poets and this poem in particular is very close to my heart.

J's Way, All The Way!

Quite early in life when my family saw hardships in certain aspects of being, we all reacted in different ways that shaped us to the people we have become today, long after the hardships are over. 

While I never was an active part of the hardship, being a passive player molded some of my core values; I became extra cautious about everything.

Along the journey to where I stand today, I met some fabulous people. Some of them continue to be lifelines and pillars, and without them my life would not hold much meaning.

My friend J, is one them. 

Very different yet similar to me, she has an extra ordinary zest for life. 

Why do I remember her today?

While I crunch and I save for a rainy day and cannot go and spend a fortune on something without contemplating for a few days, weighing the pros and con’s, my friend J is completely the opposite.

Always fun, spontaneous and the one to get the party started, she will go through tough times but always look at the fun part of it. Everything has a bright, funny side for her.

Many people don’t know that this feisty thing has a side to her that’s extremely caring, spiritual and meditative. 

When I sat holding my head today because things were not going according to MY plan, I thought of my friend J.

How she would laugh at what happened, call me and joke about her having been a thief in a previous life to suffer such bad karma today.

I sit here thinking of her and wondering if keeping each step so carefully is the right thing. 

Perhaps when we try and walk in a straight line we forget the beautiful twists and turns that go along with the line. 

Perhaps it is Ok to worry a little about financials, a zero social life, a nonexistent romantic life, a horrible job, the lack of a million things etc, but never so much that you forget to enjoy the moment and the people you have to share even these sad times with.

Perhaps, J’s way is the better way. At least you smile through shit.

We are lucky to have friends passively molding us while we actively take charge of our life.

Friends who don’t need to say or do much to be listened to.

While everything else depletes, the vastness of friendship increases.

And teaches us, like J has taught me ... that it is perfectly OK to sometimes look at yourself from a top angle and laugh your guts out at the crappy situation you are in.

Sometimes, that just helps.

Just 3 Little Stories

From a writer’s block to writing three little stories in one hour. Nothing gets me as high and happy as being in this state where words and ideas just flow as if I’m possessed by some kind of mystical energy and my fingers can’t stop typing. 

So read on, dedicated to all the beautiful women I know and the ones I don’t but who are connected with me in this great universe, just because we are simply awesome!

......We are awesome because we believe, dream and never stop loving.

Number 1 - Mom is ALWAYS right (and not just about how to cook rice!)

Always, listen to your mother.

If I could offer you one advice for the future, this would be it. 

You will not appreciate when she will painstakingly try to fill some sense in your head, in more ways than you can imagine. She will scream and shout, sit you down, tell you the stories of her growing up years, laugh with you and sometimes when unable to express herself verbally, write an email to you.  

But in whatever way she says it, listen to your mother.

When mine told me the following golden words of wisdom, I thought she didn’t love me enough to let me explore my life.

She told me once, “Don’t ever, ever expose your vulnerabilities to a man.”

It took me 12 years, a few heartbreaks, and finally a lovely person (who mentioned this to me again) to realise that she was right all along.

It’s hard; to open your palms to all that the universe has to offer yet guard yourself against the pain that awaits you every single step of the way. 

It’s a task to keep a straight face when you’re dying inside.

But the hardest of it is to keep your dignity. To walk with your head high, to embrace the goodness that surrounds you yet not allow yourself be vulnerable to it. 

There are things you cannot change about yourself, I cannot change the fact I sometimes get too vulnerable. But today, every step I take, somewhere in my head her voice resounds and I remember that there is someone who is the most important person in this whole puzzle, someone who matters the most, and that person is Me.

Number 2 - Queen of my domain

After a few very crappy days something simple happened and changed the way I was looking at life since the past few weeks. 

I went and bought a new fridge. ( I had a very tiny one earlier)

I have been so preoccupied in the lack of certain things and the abundance of some in my life that I had completely forgotten to (as they say) count my blessings.

When the fridge arrived and fit so aptly in my kitchen, matching with the cooking range and the tiles, I took a deep breath and stepped back.

There I was, in this home that’s been a dream since as long as I can remember. This abode where each and every thing is a result of my hard work and efforts. 

Rewind to 365 days prior to that moment, could I even imagine standing here with this big ass fridge in front of me in the salary that I was earning? 

But it happened. At that very moment, I was right in the middle of my dream, grinning ear to ear, so utterly proud of myself.

How many women, even in my generation get the opportunity to make a life of their own without a man’s help?

To live in different cities and countries, study something completely different from the usual run off the mill stuff, make friends of different cultures and races, build a life that constitutes of everything and lacks nothing.

Just how lucky am I! 

I hate leaving my home and long to come back to it as soon as possible. It’s a place where there is always food in the kitchen, there’s music and the humdrum of the air-conditioning, where friends are as much at home as I am, where we laugh, drink and celebrate the fact that each one of us in our own special way is right in the middle of our dream.

Number 3 - Crazy little thing called love

“It’s like walking of a tight rope all the time”, She said, “You’ve got to keep the balance and your head straight”. 

“Why can’t I ever do it? Why do I always lean on the side that is not mine, lose myself and then hate myself for doing that”, I said.

I have had this conversation with her several times in the 10 years of my dating history. Sometimes with smudged mascara and at times with bloodshot angry eyes.

She, the one in the mirror, always so calm, with a warm, reassuring smile would say, “It will be right, when it is the right time.”

 I never stopped believing in her, even in the darkest hours. She would be there, a little flicker, holding me tight. 

I trusted her. The right time will come, someday. 

And it did. 

One day when I stopped waiting for it, in a rented car, it landed right at my doorstep. 

I don’t see her in the mirror anymore, the flicker is gone.

It’s a flame, bright and shining... 

... and its standing on the other side of the mirror. Smiling.

What do you wish for?

What do you wish for?

I have been asked this question on several occasions, probably since the time I could speak. Wishes, wants desires and aspirations, aren’t these the components that make us strive for more and go on till the end of life?

When I was asked this I often wondered what clever answer I could give to impress the person asking such a profound question. (One that probably defines our whole life purpose) My wishes changed according to the person asking the question, money, happiness, love, blah, blah....

In the past two months however my definition of what I wish for myself and my family has completely changed. 

To put it straight, I have been to almost one doctor a day; I’m not dying (at least today) but there has been something or the other that has lead me to be on antibiotics for more than a month. Do I like the feeling? Hell no!!!

I have been on vacation after more than a year and have spent it eating bland food and staying in. That is not a good feeling. 

What’s more, people close to me have been ill with cancer, pain and in need for surgeries. To see suffering of the body (which we all know is so damn transient, yet so important) is painful in its own self.

It brings me to that question again, what do you wish for? What do you live for?

Isn’t it just good health, a strong being and a fit mind? 

We abuse our bodies, drink excessively, smoke, stress at work endlessly and plop ourselves in front of the television in our spare time. Most of these crimes have been committed by me and as would have been expected my body did give up, not gravely but little, slight hints that there might be something bad waiting for me soon.

When I woke up today I prayed to God to bless me with good health, to end the suffering of someone close to me dying with cancer and to send some good health to my ageing parents and grandparents. 

To the readers of my blog and other who might stumble on this, respect your body and don’t take it for granted. Call the ageing and ill parents and family members today. Life is too short to think it can be lived tomorrow. 

Love and Light,

Aanchal 

(In Gujarati goodbye is said as – aao jo (I will see you again), in all my visits to doctors this past month and a half, I haven’t heard anyone say that J they simple say thank you and walk away!)

Happy Anniversay To Dubai And Me !!!

You learn from a city in different ways, you become what the city demands of you. You change with her as she changes her seasons and her moods. Your love affair goes to the extent of extreme hatred and then immense love. For a city to mould you, you need to allow it to do so. And when you do, you start to change. You look back at that journey and see the steps you took, the rocks you climbed and the flowers you smelt along the way, somehow it all makes sense eventually.

 

7th April 2010, I landed in Dubai, A city not new to me but a whole new experience awaiting me eagerly. We took a while to understand each other, we fought and we made up. Today we are happy, the city and me. Today we are home.

 

In the various experiences that happened in our relationship, she taught me a few things along the way and probably changed me for the better....

 

• Walking in heels in easy if you walk right. Wedge heels are a WAY better option for your feet.
• Make up is important, the art lies is how you apply it.
• Always look your best. It’s not about the labels you wear but how you wear them.
• There comes a time in life when you can’t dance the night away, accept it.
• There is just a certain amount of shit you can take from people, try making the amount lesser and lesser as you grow up.
• It is a test, some karmic one that makes you go through shit. Bear it, live it, grin through it and show it the middle finger when you move on and get over it.
• You need to accept when relationships end. Feel like crap on the inside but keep your dignity on the outside.
• You always work with people, never under or above anyone.
• You can never please everyone, so stop trying so hard and just be yourself. 
• Money is relative, you will never have enough.
• Save for a rainy day.
• When you stop looking for something, you miraculously find it.
• When you find it, KEEP IT.
• Love evolves on its own plane; it’s how you evolve along with it that really matters. 
• It’s only an apartment or a house till you actually make it a home. 
• Time flies sooner that you expect.
• You can’t hold on to the moment even if you try so just enjoy it.
• Each year is a chapter and remember to remember the lessons you pretend to learn for the next year.

 

Here to you my love, my city of now....

 

Thank you for everything.

 

Life's Too Short For Chess

There is never a big thing that complicates anything. It’s always something very small, the little nail that gets stuck in the tyre and punctures it, the little tremor that goes on to cause an earthquake, the one word that changes the course of history.

Complications are like jenga blocks... building slowly, bearing and unsaying until someday when the tipping point comes, crumble as if they never existed. And you never remember what lead it to fall in the first place.

Why does it happen that sometimes words fall so short that whatever comes out of the mouth is always not the right thing?

Why does it happen that it’s never meant a certain way but presumptions lead it to being exactly the way we presume? 

Why after one hiccup there are a series that follow?

Life’s too short for chess (I read that somewhere today) ....

Life’s too short for playing games, you never know when they will start playing you.

Celebrating February #2 - Weekend Getaways

To celebrate my happy month we took a little getaway. This is not a review (it might sound like that) but just a memoir of a wonderful weekend spent at Fujairah.

It changes suddenly, the terrain, from a busy highway to miles and miles of lonely red dessert and on the horizon an outline of mountains at a distance growing closer and emerging right in front of you. You hold your breath and gasp ‘Wow’ when after thirty minutes of driving in the mountains you take a slight turn and for the first time you see the bluest sea spreading till eternity, calm and collected, reflecting the bright sun like a million stars. With the mountain on one side and the sea on the other, you don’t really breathe till you soak in the beauty you are mystically right in the middle of.

I had heard a lot about Fujairah but quite honestly didn’t expect much. We were pleasantly surprised that a city we considered to be just buildings and sand could have something so close to heaven just an hour and a half away.

We set off on a Friday morning. I don’t understand why hotels have to have a check in time of 3PM because it’s almost evening by the time you settle in. Therefore we decided to reach early, have lunch and just laze around till they finally give us our room.

The Jal Fujairah resort can be quite deceiving by its looks on the outside. But one should not judge a book by its cover they say. As you drive into the resort you wonder if it’s worth paying AED 650 a night (taxes and breakfast included) for something that looks like a sea side motel.

So before you wonder what kind of a place this is, I must tell you that as you walk into the lobby the first thing you see is the sea! Yes, it’s right at the beach. And this makes the resort totally worth the money you spend. The staff is efficient and sweet (they upgraded our room from a standard to a superior :- ) )

Each room is sea facing with a large balcony that’s perfect for sipping tea. The bathroom is huge with separate shower and bath units. The bathtub opens with a window in the room (very romantic if you are there with your better half) so even if you don’t get out to the beach or the pool the room is quite nice and spacious by itself.

Sadly it was very chilly and the water was freezing so we couldn’t swim much and do any water sports which we have scheduled for the next visit. The resort has three pools and one of them (not the one with the bar) is heated. The food is strictly OK. I strongly suggest the buffet barbeque and not the Indian dishes. The breakfast spread is wide and no one should miss the waffles. Make sure you get a table at the patio overlooking the sea, it just wakes you up!

Milan from Srilanka and Mohsin from Pakistan, sweet and chatty servers at the pool side were extremely helpful. They remembered our orders from the previous day which is quite impressive. How can you not have a good time when everyone around you is smiling!

You don’t do much in a resort but be lazy and that’s exactly what we did. Time moves so slow when you are doing nothing but staring into the horizon. We ate, drank, laughed and soaked in a lot of sun. I am sure everyone who goes to the resort goes through a depression when having to come back. So we checked out and stayed at the beach till evening before heading back completely rejuvenated and relaxed to Dubai.

For those wondering of my plight of beach wear. There is an amazing thing called swimming shorts (awesome ones available at Billabong) which is perfect for women like me.

I couldn’t have asked for more in my happy month. A perfect, short getaway I strongly recommend for anyone living in the UAE.

Here are some pictures from our visit.

The drive - When the mountains start

Just staring into the sea.... calm and serene

The view from the room - All rooms have a view like this

Beach chair

Sun and Shade :)