Idle tuesday afternoon thoughts

Something i found again ... written last year in march ...

Every time I reach a destination I prepare to leave. Be it a two day weekend break, a month long vacation or a year.

As soon as I reach I fear the day ill have to leave. The initial time is spent on adjusting to the fact that i'm here finally and then the rest few in the end is spent on being anxious about my departure. Little time is left, where I truly get don’t to cherish where I am, who I am with and what i’m doing here

I am a forever moving person. Moving drives me it keeps me going. I can never stay in a place for more than two months at a stretch. I have to get away. Ideally I would love to get away every month or Maybe lesser, but the money doesn’t permit it right now.
On my way to Ahmedabad this time I realized my favorite feeling in the whole world. It is the feeling I get when the aero plane takes off. Most people would get sick at the thought of that, but for me it is a beginning to something that’s different, something that’s new. An adventure i’m going to embark upon. Every time a plane takes off or the train leaves the station or the bus moves I get the same feeling.
It is not this time I am concerned about or the time I leave that place to go to the other, they are beautiful experiences, a journey towards the unknown is always beautiful in the beginning.
I am concerned about the time I spend in between, the time that doesn’t measure in thought.
I try to segregate time into three parts- my entering, living and exiting the journey. Should I actually do so? Or should I merge all into one whole exciting episode that I am experiencing.
It takes practice I guess.
That’s why in a jiffy time passes by and I realize I’m leaving tomorrow and then the fretting starts about how I don’t want to leave…. And then I prepare to start another journey and go through the same thing again.
I start giving myself excuses. And I continue to do the same.

Isn’t life just the same?

We are on a forever journey along the universe from one body to another from one city to another across space and time. Each time we embark upon a new journey we are anxious.
From the second we are born the journey is marked as an important arrival date. The initial years go in adjusting ourselves to the new surroundings, new people, learning there ways of life, learning of what they term as right and wrong, good and bad.
We forget in time that why did we ever even come here?

By the time we get a reality check it’s late.
We all get reality checks, the universe conspires it. It didn’t send you on this journey for nothing.
Of course for many of us by the time the reality check happens we are nearing the completion of the journey and then we start panicking over the amount of time we have lost and we see the end so near. Most of the time is then spent on worrying or on trying to find new roads and ways to reach the end appropriately.
It’s the time in between we hardly remember.
The day we depart is also marked as an important date. What about the time in between?
Who marks these dates? Dates that are special maybe just to you. Dates that might be etched on your subconscious and forgotten by the conscious mind in the daily rush rush and busy life.
There are also dates we missed out on, dates we forgot, dates we didn’t think were important or we thought we could delay to do that.

Do I come back to the place I visited before? Sometimes I do, at times I keep coming back. But each time I sit on that air plane my agenda is different. There are different people to meet, different work to do. I get the chance to live and relive the journey time and time again but each time there are other things on my mind.

And time just flies.

If I would slow down a little and stop and smell the flowers as that say….
If I would stop a bit and look at the people who entered and left my life and the very few who have stayed on. If I see each one of them as someone so unique who changed my immediate universe upside down in a good/bad way.

Then I forever love them.

I gaze at the clouds outside the tiny airplane window. Amazed at the out of world experience I am having right now, I wish it would just stay like this in-between the clouds.
Reality check- The plane lands.
Well… it’s just the beginning…..

Aanchal
24.03.06