Saturday, September 4, 2010

Wake Me Up When September Ends


I have been receiving comments about the blog that it is 'depressing' but as Hemingway put it - "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."  It is just some snippets of yourself, some that you borrow from others and you weave them into a wreath and hang it at the doorways of the soul. Happy Reading :)
Wake Me Up When September Ends
I didn’t know why Green Day sang this song until recently someone told me it is for the singer’s late father who died in the month of September.
September has never really been my favourite month to begin with. I am not particularly (for no apparent reason) fond of the number 9. September is when you suddenly realise that the year is coming to an end and nothing that you planned as a yearly chore or the remote New Year resolutions you took have been put into any real practice yet. September is also when the weather starts to change; it’s a limbo – neither hot nor cold. I have never been quite fond of any kind of a limbo state and this in particular.
It has been a year to that fateful September I went through in 2009. It seems like yesterday yet when I start thinking about the events that took place and followed, I feel I have skipped leaps and bounds from where I was to where I am today.
So last September I was planning on settling my life and preparing for a new one. While I was rediscovering the joy of knowing and being known I was so unaware of what the coming months would bring me.
A year later I look back at the events that took place that fateful September and I am filled with a heaviness that almost sinks me.
I am nowhere close to today of where I would have or could have been.
Memories flood my mind and take me back to all the laughter that filled my heart exactly a year back.
Isn’t it strange that you can feel all the anger and hate at one point and then someday after time has passed you look back and all you remember are the smiles and the laughter.
Even if you want to feel the animosity again, you can’t. You try to remember pain and reasons that led to it but what comes to your mind are the good times.
Healing is a strange process, the moment you think you have healed a certain wound that is the moment you get wounded again. You start healing the new wound and forget the older one ever happened.
However, scars remain, and they emerge randomly on some unaware idle Saturday evening to take you back into time.
That is when you wish you could go through sometime in slumber just to dream of what could have and would have been and only wake up, when September ends....

12 comments:

namit said...

well nice post..and trust me evryone has a september in dere life, for few its a september called august n for few it mite be january or march or anything...


namit
i blog at http://i-am-a-man-namit.blogspot.com/

Komal-Nishka said...

I love it.. I wonder why I haven't had a month I do not like.. perhaps coz I don't hold the bad memories in my heart that make it a bad month, I try to live in hope that the next one will be better :-) let go, let go heart.. embrace the fresh and new :-) with hope & faith..the world will conspire to bring it to you

Aarti said...

I agree with you about the healing process, I suppose each one takes their time and each wound heals in a unique way (one that we cannot quite understand or predict). Its kind of like a normal physical wound I suppose, let's say you have a headache and then you hit your foot somewhere, the more extreme of the two pains always takes over and until that heals you forget about the other aches and pains. Each one heals eventually but they sort of form a priority queue just like in emotional wounds.

September or not, someday all of this will be a distant memory and we'd be so far ahead that we'd look back fondly at these days that made us stronger and more resilient than ever.

:)

Aanchal said...

@ namit ... thanks !! will vist your blog for sure

Aanchal said...

@ namit ... thanks !! will vist your blog for sure

Aanchal said...

@ komal ... sweetheart .. its not a bad memory... its not a bad month .. its about remminicing ... its about looking back and not being able to remember the pain... but that doesnt mean the pain didnt happen... its about time passing and only remembering the smiles and laughter... its about coming that long way :)

Aanchal said...

@ aarti ... yes true isnt it.... we wouldnt be here if things had gone acc to plan... i guess all the memories of yesteryears from our recent conversations pushed me to write this :)
still nothing can be better than the NOW :) right :)

Aarti said...

Like a dear friend told me, there are no good or bad memories, they are all experiences, and an experience will always teach you something so thats the best way to take a positive out of whatever happens in life :)

Aanchal said...

who is this insightful friend :)
i meant the same thing... everyones taking the post wrongly :( lol i shud delete it !

Kiran said...

Namit and Komal and Aarti...and of course Aanchal..holding on - whether to a memory, or a day or a month or even an experience is not worth it. Live in a state of flow..
Well written Aanchal..it's only when you can look back at an incident with a smile that you know how much you have grown in strength since it happened..every wound eventually heals...

Aarti said...

Haha yes it seems like the post is not being interpreted in the same light as you intended while writing.

Haha maybe a caveat is in order- *People this is supposed to be positive, FOCUS* haha

Insightful friend= Smriti :)

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