Monday, December 21, 2009

A toast to the 365 gone by and the 365 yet to come...





It’s been quite sometime that I updated the blog. I have been in a kind of slow state of mind. Numerous efforts of penning down thoughts have been wasted in vain. The end of the year generally does this to me. My time and thoughts move to contemplation of what has been, what could have been and what can be.

For me this year has been the year of acceptances and realizations.
Apart from what it has taught me, it has made me accept a lot about myself and people around. I have shifted from denial to reality through some bad and some good things that happened during the year.

  • I accepted to myself that everything has a shelf life including friendships.What you can do however is replenish them from time to time if you want to savor them as you grow older.

  • I accepted to myself that I am someone who will always love more than the love I will get back. I will always pour my heart out till I am completely empty; I will fall, hurt and be in pain but I will stand up again, heal my heart and move on.I learnt that I have an amazing capacity to love, and that’s just the way I am, so there’s no point changing that.

    • I accepted to myself that age is something I cannot run from. Each year I will look different, maybe a little older. I will not be able to do the things I did when I was twenty five; I will not be twenty five again. I will also never be twenty seven again so all I can do is cease the moment today.

      • I accepted to myself that bodies change with time. And so it is ok to throw out old clothes. They don’t need to hang in the closet with a hope of someday I will lose weight and wear them.

      • I accepted to myself that all fairytales don’t end up happily ever after. Sometimes fairytales don’t even happen the way you hoped they would.Prince charming won’t come on a white horse and sweep you off your feet; you might have to walk to him.

        • I accepted to myself that some fairytales do come true for certain people and with all the pure happiness I feel, it’s ok to feel a tad bit jealous.

        • I accepted to myself that I have been and I guess will always be confused of what I want out of life. I will change my career preferences, my cocktail preferences and color preferences as I grow up and as I realize that life has so much to offer.

        As the countdown to 2010 begins, I look back at the very long journey I have treaded and a longer one that lies ahead.
        I shed so much – I discard, wrap and throw some precious and a few unwanted things, relationships and ties that now just remain memories.
        I look at friends getting married and I wonder when did we grow up?
        I let go of old memories to make place for new ones.
        I know its time to move on.

        I wish for a better tomorrow and even though I know I might make the same mistakes again I pray for the courage and strength to endure them.
        I pray to find the ability to take risks and make changes without the fear of what lies ahead.

        Even though it flutters endlessly I pray that next year my soul finds an abode to settle.

        And to everyone who stumbles on this blog, I wish you lots of love and light.



        15 comments:

        RAY said...

        I pray that all your prayers get answered - love and light... mom

        khushboo said...

        aanchu,

        never change :) ever. I hope you have this passion for life forever. That you never run out of all the love you have to offer and that we stay friends no matter how many 365 days pass away. and yes,one day you will walk up to your prince charming and he will know that holding your hand was the best decision he ever took in life. until then,we will keep making memories.
        i love you no aanchu!!

        Aanchal said...

        @ khushboo... LOL...
        its these moments one has to cease .... and then its all memories... thats life.. and thats whats good about it !!!! :)

        CHEERS to LIFE!! said...

        1st like everyone else, i too wish that your prayers get answered, now a couple things:
        - pls dont ask god to give you the courage and strength to endure the same mistakes..... dam do some new ones ya.... its a big world out there....
        - acceptance is good as it makes our view more clear.... ie, u accept it fine, now what... start believing beyond just acceptance...... age cant take away beauty or love (plastic surgeries and money can take its place) lol
        - when God/beliefs/science, everything has a shelf life, we are only human.
        - take a good medical insurance, more than one healing of heart is not covered by all insurance cos. lol

        its a new dawn everyday,
        and a new reason every year..
        let 'life' be the reason to celebrate today,
        surrounded by the smell of ppl so dear..!!

        Aanchal said...

        awwwwwww... you got me all sob.. sob.. sniff.. sniff... !!!! (esp the last four lines - kahan se churiye??? ) :)
        and on that note however... we must follow your status of yesterday to party everyday of what is left of this year !!!!!!!
        :)
        im so glad you all are a part of my life ... sob sob .. sniff sniff

        CHEERS to LIFE!! said...

        its orignal duhh!!
        and not party everyday of what of left of this year.... party with all that we still have this year..... a week individually is almost 2% of the year!!

        u are one emotional fool..

        Aanchal said...

        the sniff sniff.. sob sob... was sarcastic!!!!!!!! not emotional... duh!!!!

        Abhijeet said...

        its wonderful... delighted u shared the link... :)

        Komal-Nishka said...

        Superb..

        I identify with some of them - they are also my realisations this year - especially about the clothes and the looks :)

        Aanchal - I hope too you find your abode next year and if He hasn't given it so far He has reasons which we do not understand and they're only for the best.

        Lots of luv

        neha said...

        i love it...n as alvys i relate 2 each n evry1 of d realisations..yes I'd hav a few more :)
        love u loads..u kno wat i love u loads 4..ryt..being d way ur...livin life 2 d hilt..doin wat u want..n being my inspiration...muaaaa..m tellin u prince charming will happen 4 both of us don worry..i hav faith 4 all my single gals ;p
        muaaaaa tak care..hope this year il come c u whreva u r 4 sure :)

        Aanchal said...

        @ abhijeet - thanks !!!!

        @ komal and Neha.... the fairy tale is not 'just' about prince charming ... its everything ... the right chocies - career, people, money ... its the whole package.... how you thought your life would be and how it turned out... its not that its bad ... but it might not be the fairytale u thought it was !!!!! :)

        Sangram said...

        Personally, I'll remember 2009 as the year I started to read blogs - including yours, and that is one of the reasons it's been good year :)

        May your dreams be fulfilled in 2009, and may you dream again next year!

        Sherry/Maj said...

        Very good article. I can so relate to it. Best wishes for the new year.

        Aanchal said...

        @ sangram - thank you so much ... made my day reading this first thing in the morning :)

        Aanchal said...

        @ sherry - loved your blog too... thanks !

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