Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Of failures, love and simply emerging.

I am back and emerging. I have played the vanishing act for some time now and it is time now to wake up, smell the roses and the coffee (whichever is available) and move on, live another day and breathe another moment.
I have been in a trance since some time now. Flowing and moving in a stride without any reins in my own hands. It’s been one of the times when you don’t know who actually holds the reins to which you sway, sometimes uncontrollably.

I wonder if that is a good or a bad thing to do – letting yourself flow along the tide. Does it mean you get hit by the occasional rock? Does it mean you just keep flowing and never reach the shore?

I can go on and on being pseudo-philosophical here but the truth is sometimes we can’t help but flow. Sometimes we don’t realise we are in the middle of the water till the tide kicks in, shakes us and forces us to float – directionless but afloat nonetheless.

When you are in a limbo, writing gets affected. You go through so many emotions at each moment that writing them is a task. It has taken me hours to pen down this much and I have no clue where this post is headed.
Therefore I think it’s better to share news.

In recent news, I tasted failure.
True failure I believe is only achieved when you fail in your own eyes. That only happens when you put expectations on yourself to excel and then you don’t. You know it and there is no excuse you or anyone else can give to make you feel better.
Thankfully, I have always emerged from failure as a learner and stronger and readier to face worse.

In other recent news, I wonder about love.
I do believe that ‘Love’ is the most overrated and underestimated word we humans have created. In those terms it is quite the oxymoron.
I have never understood how people can put in boxes, squares and rectangles an emotion such as love.
Why does saying I love you become a big deal, so big that people don’t say it. And then life just passes you by.
Imagine if six billion people accepted, emoted and professed love to the people they knew, how much happier a race would we be?
Love comes with its own set of expectations and issues and reasons, maybe seasons too. It’s a journey, quite a tricky one, to move past these and rise to something close to unconditional.
When I was told, people get over people, they move on and that is what happens to each one of us.. I started looking back at the people I had let go. Or had I really?
Do we ever really let people go? We talk about them, we think about them through our life, yes we let go of the emotion, but we never let go of people.
They just move from a certain part of our hearts to another part. A part where they become less important in the scheme of things but they always remain somewhere as people who came, touched our lives and someday just moved away.
Instead of cribbing that someone didn’t love us back, shouldn’t we be happy that we loved them, for whatever time and at whatever level, we felt the power of love.

So, while the rant continues in my head. Bukowski beckons and I leave...

Love continues to touch me from all around as I open my heart to the universe, failure on the other hand like a timid mouse hides in a little hole somewhere in the crevices of my brain.

To more rants and random musings... cheers!


CHEERS to LIFE!! said...

-flowing along the tide is good for a while, only till you have a shore in sight.... and this shore will also not just appear, we have to keep looking for it to make it appear from no where.... once you have locked in on the shore you wanna reach the swimming against the tide begins, which generally is the only option....

-oh i just remembered you dont know how to swim... lol

-very true abt the we let go of the emotion but not the people.... i agree 100% (i know some fool who claim to let go of the emotion but it it keeps coming back) haha

Shuchika said...

beautiful aanchhu..!!! an awesome read i must say...

what you've written about love is so true! it is so overrated & underestimated...

and about moving on..., yes, we leave emotions, but not people.. i have also said this to people, "its not that when a new person enters your heart, the old ones have to leave...the heart just makes a new special place and accommodates all :)"

yes... to love.. cheers!!

Huffy said...

Darling, we are in a particular place at a given point in time to meet a given set of people.

Our heart sections those people out, giving each a particular level of priority. And as life progresses, priorities change. This could be your responsibilities or even the sectioning of people in your heart.

Hugs - H

Aanchal said...

@ ateet - p.s. i know how to swim.. but i prefer just floating :)

@shuchika i just wish we could all the time walk the talk :)

tofu said...

nice one aanchal... may you be granted a life boat or a raft or atleast a life jacket to make sure that bloody shore arrives... to shore sharaba! cheers!

Aanchal said...

@ tofu! i miss lots of the raunak shaunak along with the shor sharaba!! :)

Anonymous said...

Floating 4 smetime is gud. It gives u time to soak in the surroundings, recharge and re-emerge. And perhaps emerge stronger. Only suggestion - never loose sight / direction of the shore.
Loved ure expression of failure. Completely agree :)


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