Sunday, October 3, 2010

On Heartaches and Heart Warming Friends

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It seems to be the season of pain, I see so many people around me going through hard times and heart aches. This one’s for all of you out there… a little part of my story...

The thing about mending a broken heart (after the first time around) is that you get used to it. You know it's reactions and you recognize the pain. Even though you can’t do anything about the ache that crushes your insides each time around, you submit yourself to it knowing deep down that somewhere, sometime soon in the future, you will be ok.

When my heart broke for the first time, I was a disaster. I didn’t know my heart could actually ache; It ached in places that I didn’t even know existed. Through the months that followed, I thought I would never recover and life as I knew it had ended. Ironically it was the same feeling that I had when I sat on that motorbike and went for my first date. Life, as I knew it had ended.

In the months that passed after my first love left me, I felt pain, anger, hurt, rage and helplessness. Sometimes all of those emotions together. 
Then one fine day, a few months later I woke up and I had no pain. I wasn't hurting. I survived. Somewhere down the line, I fell in love again.

Over the years I have broken a heart and got my heart broken quite a number of times. Every time, with each love, life as I know then has ended.

Heartbreaks and healing became a pattern. Patterns we start understanding over the years. I can comprehend my reactions in pain. However stupid they might be. I am aware that even though I might never stop loving, my love is not enough to make someone stay. So the form of my love changes, not it's extent.

The thing with adulthood is that with the pleasures of relationships is also brings responsibility. The responsibility of dealing with pain.

As you grow older, you are supposed to understand and act on pain as if it's a normal routine. You are supposed to control the things you say and do.
You learn to stop communicating. You assess situations and play mind games. Instead of howling your heart out to get over it, you endure and pretend to be strong. 
Heartaches at any stage of life are not easy.  You learn to accept them and hide the fact that they crush you in parts that haven’t been already crushed before.

But….

With heartaches come heartwarming friends. It’s the balancing act. Nature’s way of telling you that you are never truly alone.

Friends of all shapes and sizes. Some, who know about your pain and some, who don’t. Some, who don’t need to know. But all of them make sure that you are warm when the cold winds blow.
Friends who warn you of potential mistakes which you always end up making anyway. So you go back to them and even with all the foolishness in your kitty, they accept you for who you are.

The ones you can talk to about the same thing again and again and you never hear a sound of complain or boredom.
The ones you don’t need to say a thing to. They just know what to do to make you feel better - a warm cup of tea and your favourite meal.
And the ones who know nothing of what is going on in your life but their inherant warmth always warms up your life.

I am lucky to have a few of them around me. Life would not be this easy without you all around.
For my friends, I am thankful. I am blessed.

For those reading this and going through a heartache - your pain is unique and sadly only you can feel it. But trust me, One day, the sun will rise and you will wake up without the slightest thought of pain. You will laugh and you will learn to love again with all your heart and all the truth in the world. If you are lucky to have friends like mine, be rest assured, that day will come sooner than you think. 

13 comments:

Aarti said...

like September 22nd, the day when everything magically turned around for the better :)

Aanchal said...

you remember the date... no wonder you are one of my heart warming friends :) hugs !

Komal-Nishka said...

I'm loving this spirit that has taken over you, Aanch.. oh that day, when you wake up and the pain is gone.. it's like being born again.. :) hugs

Aanchal said...

thank you ... !!! and we learn and unlearn everyday !

tofu said...

what happens when all that repair work renders the hardware useless?
you dont get upgrades here...

Aanchal said...

yes tofu, that happens so often... then you go back and till you dont learn you keep getting hit time and time again!! no upgrades here ever!!!! then we write another post ;)

Anonymous said...

yes one fine morning the urge of a happy living surpasses the pain..
suddenly you realise why is all the brooding done for a crook who was not worty for you..

unlike all the theories there is light at the end of a tunnel called heart-break.. :)

Shipra said...

nice one... feelin really gud... v r hardly in tch bt trust me, i wz feelin low today n it reminded me of d ol dayz... n ur letters frm pune dayz.. as if ur talkin..supportin.. cousellin me in real... b it adolescence or adulthood, frnz r d best cushions for heartaches.. luv ya... gud goin'

Aanchal said...

Thanks shipra ... Those were such happy innocent days and I think THAT surely calls for a post :) we may not keep in touch that often but these are bonds that go beyond space and time... you will always be my dear friend . Hugs!

sneha said...

Despite the repetition, didn't u always learn something new, with every heartache? Guess that is how we gain wisdom. And the wisdom to know between the friends we must cherish and the ones we can let go. Maybe that should be reward enuf. That there will be someone to gather us, when we go to pieces!

Teo said...

This is really true.. U r amazing that's why you have people around u..XOXO

Teo said...

This is really true.. U r amazing that's why you have people around u..XOXO

sonia singh said...

i so feel like i'm reading my diary!!!! :)

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