Friday, January 23, 2009

Pissed off !!!!

While the world breaks all barriers of communication to become one, we restrict ourselves within borders, our thoughts into shells.
I am appalled at an advertising agency putting restrictions to communication and the internet.
The internet is just so much more than an information source.
It’s where I connect with people, it’s where I express myself, where I share, explore and interact.
I wrote a post earlier how the internet brings us closer yet at the same time increases the distance between people.
Today my expression has been restricted by someone who is a complete outsider.

I feel handicapped.

What pisses me off more is that all it takes is a little buttering up (in decent language) the right people to get an all access???????? wtf.

My "Rachel moment"

I am talking to someone and suddenly I am floating right above my body, looking at what is happening…. The floating me is so freaking sensible… half of the times she will look down and laugh at the ignorance and complete unawareness of the senseless human body standing below.

This happens to me a lot of times, like today… when the floating me told me – “Are you mad!!! What were you thinking?”

AT used to always tell me to float above my body whenever I’m confused or have a problem… I guess one of the few things he taught me : )

I remember this Friends episode where Rachel wants to tell Ross she still loves him and despite everyone saying she should not she still goes ahead (Ross is married to Emily though!) So, Rachel tells Ross how she feels and suddenly bursts out laughing! Her own floating self tells her she’s so stupid to be doing that.

I had such a “Rachel moment” today. I am standing there thinking; Thank God I didn’t say anything!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Learning to fly

The future is so clear to me that I'm blinded by the transparency. How can I learn to fly when wings are out of my reach?

Friday, January 9, 2009


I looked
I did not see

Illusions passed me by

I swam along and against
Struggled, clashed
Floated, glided


Saturday, January 3, 2009

welcoming 2009

Change, Alter, Renovate

The year comes to an end and I am seeing so many things around me fading, changing, and metamorphosing.
I read an interesting article this Sunday on 'Change' and the 'Changelessness of change'
Though change is constant we need to perceive it as stillness in order to maintain calm and balance.
Accepting change and applying it daily is an art.

It seems so difficult to let go and shed off pieces that seem to stick to your mind.
Even though you try to rip off each minute particle that remains in your system… sometimes it mingles with your blood and then its impossible to separate it.

I started writing this post on the 30th and am completing it after a gap 5 days. A lot changed since then, for some people time did, dates did. The new year came and went .... I am glad its over and I am glad to look forward to something that is new and shows hope.

Has it been easy to let go? My new year resolution was to let go of everything that is not important to me, anything that has a negative effect on me - people, places, objects....

A lot of it mixed in my blood, a lot still tied with silk threads where knots are seen clearly.. mended and healed many times yet not perfect. Since the past month I was trying to let go...

Change is so important and vital for growth... it wouldn't be called growth otherwise. Does change become so important and yearned for that we start obsessing over it.

So on the 31st of December, I decided to not think of change. Not think of growth. NO OBSESSION.

I woke up on the 1st and just like that, I had changed, grown, renovated and altered my way of thinking.

It came to me as if it was something natural. I had let go and I didn't even realise when it happened.

One fine day, all the pieces gone.. every bit, every inch cleansed... the day i stopped obsessing about letting go.

I start the year afresh and renewed, with new friends who might come, go or stay.... and old friends who will forever be by my side through eternity.... with love and hope.


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