Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Irrevocable

It’s something I can’t contain. Not any longer for sure.

In midst of multitudes and magnitudes of emotions that sway me furiously,

From sensibility to insanity,

From reason to disbelief,

I can’t help but fall.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Reasons, Seasons and Lifetimes




They say people come into our life for reasons, seasons or lifetimes.

At what point do you know for which exact purpose they have come into your life?

Most of the times it’s when they go away or move into the periphery is when you realise their sole purpose for walking with you the miles they did.

I have had people come and go, some have moved to the corners of my life standing as pillars to keep my sanity intact. They hardly meet, hardly come to the centre to crowd me, they are just there holding on to themselves and me. Some have been the centre of attraction for a bit and melted soon enough. There have been some who walked in and out like a whirlwind.

They are the ones who have taught me the most.


I love these lyrics by Green Day -

"Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.
It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life."

Every now and then you reach a turning point in your life when you need to let go of the past, hold on to something new and move on. That’s life, and the sooner you accept it the happier you are!

I’ve learnt some lessons through time –

People come and go. Nothing and no one lasts forever. What lasts is what you felt for them. What is left are memories that are yours and only yours.
What is important is the time you spend being happy with them. Time spent not worrying about the future but cherishing moments that might never come again.
We only live a number of weekends, a fewer years ... think about it, it isn’t that much.

I have learnt that loving yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. (I might sound a tad bit narcissistic here) But believe me, it’s the greatest favour you can do to yourself. No one can or will dare to strip your vulnerability and leave it to crumble. I have been there and it’s not a nice place. The moment I decided to love myself more than anyone or anything, nothing and no one has come close to making me feel angry, vulnerable or defenceless.

I have learnt to give unconditionally and completely to everything and everyone I love for whatever time they are in my sphere.

I have learnt to let go.

I have learnt that there is something around me, God or whatever we may call it that protects me. It makes me learn lessons time and time again until they are embedded so deep in my heart that they force me to change for the better.

I have learnt to say more I love you’s, more thank you’s and even more sorry’s.

I have learnt that regret is not something I want live with.

I have learnt that today is a happy day. Today I am alive. Today will never come back. The people in my today might be gone in my tomorrow.

“So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.”

Every day I live a reason, a season and a lifetime simultaneously. I have come to love that about being here and living this life.

I am having the time of my life!

I hope you are too!

: )
Aanchal

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Irrevocably - irrationally - unconditionally

"I need to learn how to accept the certainty in everything that’s uncertain and the uncertainty in everything certain.

Then maybe I’ll be able to live content."

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Love Letter # 8 - GoodBye.

So it’s goodbye.
The last straw drawn,
The last card dealt,
The hollow creeps slowly
Into the crevices of a muddled mind,
Uncertainly clear of thoughts rampant .

So it’s goodbye.
It’s time to walk away,
It’s time to forget,
Words enticed by actions lost
In futures,
Some lifetime away.

So it’s goodbye.
A moment forgotten
A memory lapsed
Misplaced and misjudged
In a past
Not so far ago.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Ten Rules for Being Human - Very interesting!

Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

Love letters # 7

The crescendo of our story,
Ends before it even begins..
I’m standing here to hear you,
Talk, scream or emote.
Are you just going to let me walk away?

I’m falling apart,
From you and within.
Catch me before I take the plunge,
Hold me before I embark
On our journey alone.

Me

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Love letters # 6

It’s like words come till my gut and stop. Actions that I’d rather do are manipulated by the way the circumstances are moving.
I am not sure what will pierce you and what will not. What will slowly drip down your yr veins and enter your heart.
I don’t know if this is a way of living, to stop yourself from feeling.
Open the doors, it’s ok. I won’t barge and I won’t hurt.
I will enter and slowly shut them to the world and to a reality that refuses to let us be.
It will be us and only us, non measurable and unaccounted.
We will live each moment as if it were the last, we will carry memories through the time we are alive.
All we do today is let moments pass, unsure and unable to be true to them.
It’s ok to let go my love, it’s ok to love.
Can we just forget everything and remember LOVE?

Always,
Me

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Love letters # 5

Sweetheart,

You know I mean it even when I don’t say I love you.
I sometimes don’t know how to put these words into shapes and actions.
I’m clumsy you know, I forget to remind you.
I hope you understand.

Always,
Me


Love,

Every time you walk through that door and your eyes search for me, I know you love me.
Each time you are clumsy and try to make up for it, I know you love me.
I just pretend not to know.
I hope you understand.

Forever,
Me

Love Letters # 4 - MOM

Happy Mother’s day to all the beautiful, adorable moms out there!! We love you so much! We just don’t say it often.

Dearest mom,

When I was a little girl the one thing that enamoured me were these pair of white stilettos that you owned. Every time you were out, I would secretly wear them and pretend to walk the catwalk.

I would pretend to be an adult and make conversation with myself in front of the mirror.

Throughout my childhood I thought that I could quite literally fit into your shoes and be you.

I grew up and realised that it’s a tough job being you. Could I ever be that giving, loving and forgiving? Could I ever match up to your sensitivities and talents?
You pushed me to be my own person but all I wanted to be was a reflection of you.
An unfortunate accident happened and I realised that you were nothing but human. You were my super mom who did hurt and who did have problems. Problems we always choose to overlook. (Moms don’t have problems now, do they?)

In that one month we switched roles. It was reinventing our relationship. You were vulnerable and for the first time in my life I had to be strong for you. I had to be a shoulder to lean on.

Suddenly without a call or notice, I had stepped into your shoes.

I learnt more about life in that one month than I have probably learnt in the past ten years.

Through your time of trouble you didn’t forget to teach me one of life’s greatest lessons.

You taught me that love has no boundaries, love needs patience and love always prevails.

When I took over as your mom, I could only wonder where all that patience came from? Where did you dig all that compassion, all that love?

Thank you mom for being you.
For teaching us the simple yet important things of life,
For never stopping us from trying, doing or experimenting anything we wanted.
Thank you mom for late night and early morning conversations.
For letting me sob for no rhyme or reason, just because I wanted to.
Thank you for being the best friend I could ever have.

I love you mom.

Happy mother’s day.

Always,
ME

P.S People its mothers day on the 10th of this month, don't forget to tell her you love her!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

love letters # 3 - Thers no such place as far away.

Yesterday, while we watched the sunset and hoards of birds cloud the sky.
I fell in love.
Just like that.
We were both so quiet, lost in our own thoughts. I wondered who you were thinking about...
An ex-love maybe. I was so afraid to ask.
Our fingers were entwined and our eyes were busy making shapes out of clouds muffled in the reds and oranges of the evening sky.
At times I heard our hearts beat in unison like it was meant to be.
Did I skip a beat somewhere? Did you notice?
We sat there for hours while the moon rose and illuminated a milky sky.
Quiet and serene.
It was late and you had to leave. Perhaps forever.
“In the end, we all come back home” you said.
“Soon” I replied.
And just like that you were gone to a place far far away.

Always,
Me
P.S: Did I forget to mention, I love you.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Love letters # 2

Let’s take a small walk today,
In the backyard we don’t visit anymore.
Let’s not be lonely, let’s not be strangers.

Let’s wake up on the same side of the bed today.
Encircled and entangled.
Let’s sip our coffee and exchange fleeting, forgotten glances.
Today, just let our eyes talk.

Always,

Me

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Love letters # 1 - Release

You wouldn’t hear him today even if he spoke right into your ears, the randomness of his thoughts.
The subjectivity of reasoning to your own convenience wraps your soul in layers uncountable.
You wouldn’t feel it today if his toes touched yours, the uncertainty of his touch.
The wall you built to protect yourself shields you from a passion lying dormant.

You are blinded by tears you cried at your own failures,
The ones you use as a measure for what lies in the Pandora’s Box.
I’ve been inside and it’s full of hopes, fears, risks and irrationality.
It’s the Mecca of senselessness and absurdity.
Raw, unrefined and crude,
Full of surprises, heartbreaks & passion,
Unconventionally beautiful.

What stops you to unlock and peep?
To soak in and savour...
The saneness in irrationality,
The logic in everything you considered illogical,
The safety in the risks you wouldn’t take.

You wouldn’t smell the lilies today, the ones he kept at your window sill,
Your senses blocked by your mind, a machine programmed not to act on impulse.

He silently walks away, leaving the key behind
Someday, maybe someday
You will unlock the Pandora’s Box.
With a different key, a different lock, a different 'him'.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The measure of love - Paulo C from the warrior of light

“I have always wanted to know if I was able to love like you do,” said the disciple of a Hindu master.

“There is nothing beyond love,” answered the master. “It’s love that keeps the world going round and the stars hanging in the sky.”

“I know all that. But how can I know if my love is great enough?”

“Try to find out if you abandon yourself to love or if you flee from your emotions. But don’t ask questions like that because love is neither great nor small. You can’t measure a feeling like you measure a road: if you act like that you will see only your reflection, like the moon in a lake, but you won’t be following your path.”

- The warrior of light newsletter

Friday, May 1, 2009

Time confuses me.....

Do you know that feeling when you feel that light years have passed and you see everything zip past you, then you look down and see that you haven't moved and inch?

When everything you need and want is at an arms distance but you just cant stretch enough.

The feeling you get when you read a milestone that says 10 km but it takes an hour to cover that distance?

Do you know anticipation, curiosity, eagerness?

I am waiting patiently, trying to enjoy the ride to my 10 km destination, I can see the lights twinkle on the horizon, I know I'll be there soon.

I just don't know how long it will be before the patience breaks, before I start running towards the lights, just to touch them. Just this one time.

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