I grew up believing in fairy tales. When I saw him for the first time entering a coffee shop looking for me, I knew I had found my prince charming. He was everything I could have asked for and more. I fell head over heels and was swept away even before our first date ended six hours later.
I had never been this high and happy. I was so involved in my blissful state that I didn’t anticipate a fall – ever.
So one day, out of the blue when he sat on my couch and told me he was leaving me, a sense of numbness spread across my entire being. I could not understand the reason for this sudden track change.
When someone you love decides to walk away from you, the world under your feet shifts. Cracks don’t just form around you but in your very core. When people die, they are gone for real. You have to accept the inevitable. But when someone choses to become a stranger – it always lingers, as you never really know why.
A relationship that once bought out the best version of yourself suddenly makes you a horrible person. Lost, unaware and in no control of the situation, you become someone you cannot relate with.
I spent the last one-year in a bubble. I took a thick duvet, covered my face and just lay in the warmth. But eventually I started to pick up parts of myself that lay scattered and tried to join them together.
As it slowly vaporizes from your life, a relationship teaches you a lot about yourself and everything around you. I experienced denial, lots and lots of anger – at him and then at myself, pain, hurt, acceptance, forgiveness and finally, a true sense of gratitude.
Even though it was not my longest relationship when measured in time, it perhaps was the deepest. Getting in it taught me a lot and getting out of it, taught me even more.
Break ups can be hard. For the ones going through the pain, I wish you all the strength. It is not easy but I can tell you this –
Even though today seems bleak, there will be a tomorrow when the sun will shine.
You can walk in the shadows for a long time but one day, you will have the courage to walk in the light again.
Each day will make you stronger and smarter. There is no need to be hard on your self.
You will make new friends who will welcome you in their lives without judgment or doubt.
The moment you start letting go and shutting one door, new windows will open.
Slowly but surely, memories will fade. You will visit them rarely and even though you will wonder if that person still exists, new memories will form.
Life will pass by in a moment and when it ends, you will smile. Because even if was for a brief moment, you found a love that shifted the world under your feet.
You will never forget the one you loved, but you will find reasons to love again.
And then one day, someone will sit on the same couch and tell you what you have always wanted to hear. That day, I hope you trust love just one more time again*.
(*Inspired by the beautiful quote by Maya Angelou – “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”)
Image courtesy – Wordporn