Saturday, August 28, 2010

Of Destiny, Karma, Happiness and that thing called Life.

Destiny plays with us in two ways, one in which it is pre-destined and the other in which we choose what to do, the path we take that changes its course forever.
There is no such thing as coincidences. We don’t meet anyone accidently, we don’t stumble upon jobs or change houses. These things happen as per a plan that we at some super sub - conscious level have chosen long long before. The exact time and place where we would meet someone, the consequences that would lead to it and so on...
Ever wondered at a particular situation and travelled back with it? Everything appears to be linked. Nothing and no one enters our life at the wrong time. It is always the right time.
But that is where the second role of destiny comes to play. Destiny gets us to the point, the crossroads where a certain path could alter our lives if we choose to walk it and maybe if it is not the right path, wonder all along the way what the other path could have bought into our lives.
To choose the path and to walk on it in order to let that destiny enfold is free will.
There is nothing that is impossible, no path and no choice that is not given to us, what we do with the choice, how we exercise our free will, how far we go to either make ourselves or perhaps others happy is up to us, at each point and each day in our lives, when we make the decision to wake up and live another day.
If destiny is pre chosen then why do we make mistakes you might ask?
Could the answer be Karma or maybe sheer bad luck? No one can and would choose an unhappy life, isn’t it. We are all on our own spiritual journey treading slowly towards a path that reveals itself unfortunately only when we make mistakes, or to put it in the positive sense, when we learn.
I am not saying that it does not reveal itself when we are successful or happy, but do you remember the last time when you were truly happy and you thought about karma, destiny or your growth as a spiritual being?
This brings me to another question, what is happiness and where does unhappiness begin?
It is written in the Gita and also propagated by Buddha that evolved is the human being to whom happiness and unhappiness holds no meaning. We cry tears of joy and laugh when life slaps us in the face, we yearn for drama in simple, normal lives and when in pain wish for relief. We never endure happiness or unhappiness in its true sense. We hardly become numb to emotions, a place where there is no beginning or end to these emotions.

I often take my own example when I wonder about life; I don’t want to take the liberty with anyone else’s life. I look around me today and I wonder about the lesson I am supposed to learn from what is and what is not in my life today.
I also wonder if the ‘lack’ of something is truly a lack? Or it is a perception of my make believe perfect world.
I wonder about what is not lacking in my life today, is it ‘perfect’ and if it is how often am I living up to its perfection?
Of the various books I have read, people I have met, conversations I have had, movies and art I have seen, I have truly come to believe that destiny always brings you to your dreams, because somewhere at some level you are always fighting for your dreams with the universe. The universe being as compassionate as it is delivers, maybe not in your face but it does.
What you choose to do of your dream, to live it or to leave it be is up to you.
I have also come to believe that it never gives second chances; it never crosses the same path twice.
And then one day you die.
Morose? Well, it’s the truth isn’t it? As Mitch Albom in the beautiful Tuesday’s with Moorie wrote that we ought to live each day as if we were going to die tomorrow, we would then live a happier life.
Pick up that phone, write that letter, and make that long pending visit. Tell the people you truly love that you love them. Quit the unhappy job, find your dream and when you do, live it as if there was no tomorrow. Pay attention to the signs the universe gives you, the people you meet, they are there for a reason, don’t let them go. And when it is time, also let go.
Make a point to start living, maybe selfishly at first, and you will notice that when you are happy how much happiness you can bring to the ones you love. Because there is nothing as comforting as to see someone you love happy and content.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

A day to live and a day to learn while I hope tomorrow brings sunshine.

I had the strangest day today. There are some days when you wake up and you know something will not be right today. These are the days when you should keep quiet. These are the days when you should listen to that voice warning you. But exactly on these days, you refuse to listen to that screaming voice inside of you.
I learned a few things in the past few days – about myself, people and life through myself, people and well, life. 

  • I have learned that if you lose a friend, that person was never really your friend to begin with. It is sad and it hurts but it’s true. Friendship doesn’t come with terms and conditions; people don’t come with terms and conditions. It is all a game of expecting and accepting. 
  • I have learned that relationships have their troubled times. We stop being what we are initially to the people we love. We become comfortable and say things that we should not say. It is at that point that we have a choice to either evolve with the relationship or fight. 
  • I have learned that I don’t have the energy to fight anymore. We are so starved for love that we fight for love itself. Maybe that’s the reason even countries fight. 
  • I have learned that as we get comfortable in things, places and with people we also start to ask for more. We start to treat those things, the places and those people as home. We take them for granted.
  • I have learned that there is no time slab, price tag or an expiry date on some relationships. Sometimes, they just fade. 
  • I have learned that we can’t accept the fading away. It’s a fear we carry around us all the time. 
  • I have learned that letting go is a process. It takes time. We feel it’s the hardest thing we have to do. But truth is, we have to let go, we have to walk ahead and we have to move on.
  • I have learned that with love comes insecurity. To evolve and conquer it is an ongoing process. It is also the same process that either brings two people closer or makes them fall apart. 
  • I have learned that I have to wait for love to come to me. The kind of love that has its ups and downs, arguments and insecurities but all of it stems from passion and immense emotion. A love that each day learns the good and bad about me as I learn about him and together we grow to make him and I – Us.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Of Circles, Squares and Thin Lines.

There are these moments in life when you feel that you are walking on thin lines. Points where everything seems perfect but you know that a little gentle push and you will fall on either side. Neither side you know is anything compared to this but you know sooner or later you will fall.
So what do you do?
I remember a line from a song that says – ‘Even falling feels like flying for a little while’
Sometimes we like to endure pain, revel the pleasure of risk and fight with ourselves to go to the limits of our beliefs and values.
I wonder if we are all masochists at some level and on another level if we are all desperate attention seekers.
We reach points of balance and we like to stretch them till the longest time. Then it all starts to seem mundane and so very boring.
We look for triggers to sway us, make us tip and make us fall.
We fall, rise and start walking the line again.
If life is just made up of these circles, when does one settle into a plain, simple square?
Just some thoughts on an idle Friday afternoon.....

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Of failures, love and simply emerging.

I am back and emerging. I have played the vanishing act for some time now and it is time now to wake up, smell the roses and the coffee (whichever is available) and move on, live another day and breathe another moment.
I have been in a trance since some time now. Flowing and moving in a stride without any reins in my own hands. It’s been one of the times when you don’t know who actually holds the reins to which you sway, sometimes uncontrollably.

I wonder if that is a good or a bad thing to do – letting yourself flow along the tide. Does it mean you get hit by the occasional rock? Does it mean you just keep flowing and never reach the shore?

I can go on and on being pseudo-philosophical here but the truth is sometimes we can’t help but flow. Sometimes we don’t realise we are in the middle of the water till the tide kicks in, shakes us and forces us to float – directionless but afloat nonetheless.

When you are in a limbo, writing gets affected. You go through so many emotions at each moment that writing them is a task. It has taken me hours to pen down this much and I have no clue where this post is headed.
Therefore I think it’s better to share news.

In recent news, I tasted failure.
True failure I believe is only achieved when you fail in your own eyes. That only happens when you put expectations on yourself to excel and then you don’t. You know it and there is no excuse you or anyone else can give to make you feel better.
Thankfully, I have always emerged from failure as a learner and stronger and readier to face worse.

In other recent news, I wonder about love.
I do believe that ‘Love’ is the most overrated and underestimated word we humans have created. In those terms it is quite the oxymoron.
I have never understood how people can put in boxes, squares and rectangles an emotion such as love.
Why does saying I love you become a big deal, so big that people don’t say it. And then life just passes you by.
Imagine if six billion people accepted, emoted and professed love to the people they knew, how much happier a race would we be?
Love comes with its own set of expectations and issues and reasons, maybe seasons too. It’s a journey, quite a tricky one, to move past these and rise to something close to unconditional.
When I was told, people get over people, they move on and that is what happens to each one of us.. I started looking back at the people I had let go. Or had I really?
Do we ever really let people go? We talk about them, we think about them through our life, yes we let go of the emotion, but we never let go of people.
They just move from a certain part of our hearts to another part. A part where they become less important in the scheme of things but they always remain somewhere as people who came, touched our lives and someday just moved away.
Instead of cribbing that someone didn’t love us back, shouldn’t we be happy that we loved them, for whatever time and at whatever level, we felt the power of love.

So, while the rant continues in my head. Bukowski beckons and I leave...

Love continues to touch me from all around as I open my heart to the universe, failure on the other hand like a timid mouse hides in a little hole somewhere in the crevices of my brain.

To more rants and random musings... cheers!


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