Inked, engraved and enlivened
Has it ever happened to you that you lose a part of yourself in the humdrum of life and then just like that, one fine day it all comes back. You are yourself all over again. Maybe for a moment or for a day but that feeling, the feeling of being whole again is the biggest high you can ever get.
Being impulsive, spontaneous and unplanned used to be natural for me.
Life and its expectations, me and my expectations from life, people, work, the stress of always running late for work, heartbreaks and heartaches, the anxiety of becoming fat, the worry of failing, the sense of loss etc made me very guarded.
I don’t know when it exactly happened. That moment in which I trapped my carefree, artless, raw soul into walls I built for myself. I forgot that it was ok to be impulsive, to be free and to be myself.
My soul subjected to such torture, lay dormant. Too busy to even look at myself in the mirror I forgot about it being all alone behind deep, thick walls.
This whole deal of being guarded came with its perks; it made me feel old and made me anti-social.
None of this is my inherent nature but I played along
Fighting the world was enough; I didn’t have time to fight with myself.
This weekend after declining three invitations for dinners and parties, I was ready to sit at home, watch crappy Saturday night TV and aimlessly browse the internet. A friend kept insisting that I come and meet her and her boyfriend, whom I had never met. Having let her down so many times already I decided to make a short visit. One drink and I would get back home.
The conversation was interesting, I was drinking slowly and after meeting people I adore I was at ease.
My friend’s boyfriend happens to be a tattoo artist and the conversation obviously was revolving around that when I told him about the tattoo design I have been carrying around since forever but have never had the guts to get it done (it also happens to be significant in my to do before 30 list)
He came up with the idea of doing the tattoo right then. It was 1.30 in the morning. I was sane with only half a peg of whiskey and coke in my blood.
I have no idea what came over me, I don’t even remember thinking too much.
At 3.30 in the morning, I had my tattoo.
As each drop of ink pierced into my skin something else, somewhere evaporated.
Each prick of the needle pulled out a brick of the deep, thick wall and engraved my spirit that had suddenly woken up.
It wasn’t just about the tattoo or the symbol that means so much; it was about what the whole experience was doing to me.
Cho Ku Rei is a Reiki symbol. It indicates strength, power and energy with a direction.
What has always attracted me to this symbol is its meaning that all the energies of the universe reside at this point (where it is drawn)
People feel that it takes big events in life to wake one up from deep slumber. I believe that everyday there are moments which give you the choice to either wake up or lay dormant.
Impulsively, without much thought, getting the tattoo in the middle of the night, just like that was a moment for me.
A moment to wake up my soul and be alive again.
Tattoos always have a story and a reason behind them. My tattoo has given me a reason to look forward again.
With the universal energy engraved in me forever I doubt my soul will ever sleep again!
It is my new day, my happy new day.
And not to forget the tattoo - immensely sexy! ;)
Note: The title credit for this post goes to my good friend A. I have read this as your status message since so long but Saturday night was an actual new day.
The credit for going through with this also goes to A and S, thanks for pushing me.