Crazy week and a crazier weekend. Have lost and gained so much this week. The new post had to be on eye openers.... read on ...
:) :) :)
Weekend revelation 1
I sit across the table from an unassuming gentleman in a tiny, pink tiled room and while he blabbers incoherent words in an ancient language I try to focus my attention on the wall pasted with numerous pictures of God’s and Goddesses. The smell of incense is thick and overpowers the aroma of bhetki being cooked in the neighbouring house.
I feel almost surreal. The man is reading out my future as the ancients have written it.
At one point, I almost laugh out loud. I can’t help but notice the irony of his predictions coinciding with recent events. That makes me want to laugh and tell him to shut up. I go on listening though, hoping that something he says will give me hope.
He sums up the session by telling me this is my last birth and therefore the reason for all the troubles, I need to clear my karmic debt to everything and everyone.
After that it’s simple bliss. Moksha.
This happened yesterday. A quiet, long rickshaw ride later, I came home and tried to fit the pieces of the puzzle together.
If someone spread out your entire life right in front of you in a mere sixty minutes, would you put up your hands and give in to destiny or would you fight and challenge it, simply to change it?
If this is my last birth and I don’t get another chance to experience and learn then I have wasted enough time.
There are still the Greek islands to discover, too much sushi left to eat, sky diving to be done......
Weekend revelation 2
There is not much you can do to ease pain. You need to let it sink in, slowly.
You need to wait for numbness to take over.
Things that make the heart ache are something like that too. You just have to believe, you have to see what stares at you with naked eyes. You have to let it engulf you till you are submerged in its powers and then you wait. You wait to forget. You wait for it to ebb.
Change happens in its due course. (Karmic debts I guess) and comes back a full cycle.
But sometimes what changes cannot be undone. Sometimes what you lose is lost forever.
Sometimes years of trust are broken in a brittle moment of truth.
Weekend revelation 3
Even if it’s momentarily, there is nothing that can’t be cured with a little Billo Rani and vodka.
I spent a couple of hours last night dancing on cheesy, cheap Hindi item numbers. Three vodka peg’s to forget that I am a horrible dancer.
Friends without any Karmic debts, just me and the stars..
Weekend revelation 3
As I write this, I am also watching qayamat se qayamat tak on TV.
In a weird, sort of crazy way watching this movie today makes me think of the past. The twenty seven years that have gone by.
This movie is eventful in a lot of ways – it is one of the first movies I watched on the big screen, the first time I fell in love (aamir khan) , the first time I cried for someone else (when they both die), the first time I thought of the concept of eternal love.
The weekend started with someone predicting the next thirty five years of my life and the weekend ends with a flashback.
I don’t have the guts to count what I have lost and what I have gained. I fear the losses might precede the gains.
So I let that be.
The past twenty seven years have been eventful, joyous, sad, happy all blended into one.
I suddenly realise that the astrologer hasn’t told me anything that I haven’t experienced.
The next thirty five are going to be eventful, joyous, sad and happy all blended into one.
I just might be smarter to live them with a smile.
Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla have just found abode in the middle of nowhere and they are happily singing a song....
I can’t help but fantasize about a similar situation. Eternal, crazy love, an abode in the middle of nowhere and fighting for who you love. Perfection.
And then soon after, the villains arrive and perfection dies.
A tear rolls down my cheek.... as always.